Chapter 7, Verse 2: Am I There Yet?

Good morning Space Travelers. A little note about sleeping in your car: Have a plan. Improvising a bed is more challenging than it seems. Oh, and by the way, that blasted day star rises out of the earth at far too early of an hour can we do something about that?


All I needed was a little caffeine snack and I was super green to hit the road. My lower back kind of hurt from the rest, but the pain went away after some stretches.


Oregon in the light of day kind of looks like Missouri, only the plains are framed with mountains. The air has a certain sweetness to it, perhaps it was wild flowers.


I decided to stop and get some food in Portland. Portland, as I have been told over many years is a giant hippie mecca, and also the best place to be if you are homeless. The city itself is very clean and I found a area of Portland that was full of little bistros and teriyaki restaurants.


I decided to get a bento with Bulgogi. The rice was really good too. after eating, I made small talk with the cooks. I learned that the area I was in was once a primarily Japanese area of Portland, until WWII when many were put into the camps. This was interesting, but ultimately tragic. This was not the first nor would it be the last place I would see with a similar past on my journey.
I left Portland, and had 160 miles left until Seattle. The interstate was great, until Olympia. Once in Olympia, there was some traffic from construction. I shall try to describe the rules for dealing with traffic, and the penalty I bring with their disobedience.

Rule 1: Lane ending signs or signs that command you to merge, are not suggestions. Once you the driver have seen the sign, you should mover earlier rather than later. I shall now attempt to explain why. You see, when you first see this sign, chances are you are moving at 50-60mph. In fact, most of traffic is probably moving at this or a similar speed. By moving over earlier, rather than closer to the obstruction you provide a longer line of sight to the construction zone for cars that are behind you. After merging, you will typically slow down, and the congestion will increase. This is to be expected. With the congestion getting more and more tight as you approach the construction zone, it becomes harder and harder for a car to merge into the provided lanes of traffic. The problem is that when you the considerate driver moves over quickly and provides the polite line of sight to the construction zone, you additionally leave an open lane for the scum of the earth. The violators of rule one will drive all the way up to the point where construction has began and then wait to be let in. The act of letting them in means many things. First, it means that the already congested traffic must allow for a hole. That hole can only be create by someone slowing down, or worst stopping. Slowing down 15mph at the "front" of the line will cause a 40mph slow down a quarter mile back. That slowdown a quarter mile back makes more congestion, and further creates congestion beyond the point where the sign polite tells you to merge over a lane. Violators of rule 1 do not deserve entry into your lane. If you are believer in Christ, you can pray, if you believe in Satan, you can hex, but if you believe in Johnny freedom car, you can just play pacman with the road lines. this prevents you from losing your spot in the "proper" lane, while at the same time denying the assholes on the road access to the front of the line. I find this profoundly satisfying.

Once I made it through construction traffic (which took 2 hours), I now was in 5:00Pm traffic in a very urban Seattle. Which brings us to rule 2.

Rule 2: Right Wing Conservative Nutjob Radio is your friend. In the occasion that you find yourself irrationally angry at every driver on the road, you may from time to time be tempted to lash out. Lashing out sometime comes with unfashionable and embarrassing arrest. To avoid losing touch with your humanity, instead find something worth being angry about. Right Wing Nutjobs are a dime a dozen on the radio, and provide a venue for you the listener to experience shock and irony. Spin-puppets such as Sean Hannity get a great deal of airtime. use the traffic "experience" to practice your rebuttals, make it into a game. For instance, every time someone refers to the liberal media, honk your horn (I could tell lots of people were playing.). These shows usually drag on for a uncomfortably long amount of time, but in stop and go traffic, it's good to have something else to focus on. Think of it like this: You can have a greater opinion of your fellow commuter, if in comparison you provide the champion assholes of all time.

Well, at least it makes me eager to forgive. G'day Space Travelers.