Chapter 27, Verse 2: When Will We Get There?

I promised that I'd tell more Space Travelers, and I mean to do just that. Today, you learn about my quarter-life crisis.
I can't remember who gave the quote, and I'm going to have to paraphrase anyways, but: "You're unhappy? They have a group for that. It's called EVERYONE"

EDIT: I found the original quote and remembered where I read it. It's Drew Carey and I read it on Amy's blog. "You say you're pissed off that life didn't turn out the way you wanted it to? There's a group for that. It's called 'Everybody.' They meet at the bar."

Well, I'm not really unhappy, but sadly dispelled.

Oh, and if you thought that this post was going to be more cool England shit, sorry. The connection is that I came to my conclusions on my quarter life crisis during my trip, so that's why it falls here. For your enjoyment, I did include pics of the lovely Ruth, and ever adventurous duo Taylor and Chi.
You must understand. It has not been easy for me to fit in. Imagine that. In my earlier years, it was being shy, but having a very active imagination. As I grew up and my communication skills developed, I began going through a very awkward stage of saying incomplete things. Some speech pathologists say that people who stutter simply fail to be able to speak at the speed they think. Well, I might have had a similar thing, only I just said parts of things. It sounded weird, but it's not really material to the story, so I'm going to just keep going... The point here is that by time I had learned how to properly communicate, I was at the age where our social hierarchy had began to harden. This made me a "fringe kid."

Being on the fringe meant meeting other all-star weirdos who were pretty cool. Everyone was truly unique and all struggled to fit in their own way. We became close. You know lunchroom politics? Well, we beat them... by not even eating in the lunchroom. One of those fringe kids was Taylor.

As the years went by, the molds that held these various social roles were loosened. In college, some people break out, and join the fringe. Other molds stand strong letting their contents harden more.

After college, more molds release and then fail to hold their shape. Yet more people on the fringe and what they long for is to be back in the mold where they think they made sense.

So here's my crisis; here is my dilemma. I just thought someday I'd fit in somewhere. I thought I'd arrive somewhere and when I got there, people would be magically awaiting me, smiling and they'd say:

"We've been waiting for you to get here."

I guess I've been holding out for some retribution; some good prize for staying who I am. I want my character to fit. Why must being free be lonely? Why can't we earn acceptance?

But I already knew the answer. I knew it the second I realized what my crisis was. The answer was and will always be those fringe kids. I have been accepted many times in my life. My journey has brought me to some of the most amazing and unique people. I've never found a place to take me in, but I can build on the little real estate we're given. Like the lunch room politics, we just ate in the hall, completely bypassing it. Now as an adult, I know the community I want, is one I have to build. It will not build itself. What I want in my life, is not waiting at some point in the future for me, but that is not to say I can't have it if I try.

If I want amazing friends, I don't wait for them to find me. When I want adventure and when I want to feel alive, I don't wait for an invitation.

I guess all the molds eventually crumble and everythign is reduced to the fringe. It's like the 2nd law of social dynamics. Some people just live there longer than the others.

I don't know when I'll be satisfied, I don't dare think what would be left if I knew.