Chapter 27, Verse 1: Where Are We Going?

Wotcha Space Travelers! London's Calling, and I've paid a refuckingdiculous amount of money to have a mobile phone abroad. Note to self: Get prepaid next time.

I've spent the 4th of July the last two years in different curcumstances: Thee flight deck of a WWII aircraft carrier in San Diego, and last year in a massive city evacuation drill on the National Mall here in DC (Golly it's true. Arnest!).

This year, I satisfied my urge to just leave. No, not in a Sean Penn I'm-moving-to-Canada kind of leaving, but rather for the reasons of...

Okay, so I didn't have a reason, but I could. Okay? I did it because I could. This year I spent the 4th of July in England. Ironic as it may sound, it turned out to be one of the best ideas I've had in ages. Add to that, the presence of one Mr. Taylor Park, and it's an adventure.

Taylor added two important ingredients to the trip:

1) Poland - Neither of us speaks Polish, but Marta was going to be there and we knew we could make her our language slave for a few days.

2) Couch Surfing - An adventure in itself, we didn't stay in any hotels. Our hosts were indie posh students at Goldsmiths, a 60's Mod who used to get in fist fights with rockers (achievement unlocked), and Bollywood Art Directors. Our trip was meant to be memorable.

I had not left the USA since 2004, and that was only for a day trip across the border into Mexico (inside scoop: The ring I wear on my left hand was bought on that trip). Before that, I had gone on a study trip to Japan. That trip interestingly enough was also with Taylor.

I remember the day I bought the tickets. I remember because it was the day my passport expired. It had been almost exactly a decade since I first left the country. Like that first trip abroad, I hoped this trip too would be full of firsts and overwhelm my senses.

It's good to get out, see your world in the third person. It's good to be the outsider; not get all the jokes; struggle with the local vernacular. A unexpected thing I learned, is that push come to shove, we could out drink the British. I'm worried about what this says for our college system.

They say "Life is a journey." I say "Life is a journey, if you chose it." There is no passive adventure, only active quests. I can't hold out that someone else is going to just come a long and make my life what I want it to be, but more on that some other time.

Single Thought #5

If hunger is your stomach telling you what you need, then heartache is hunger too.

Chapter 26: Families of Ours

Happy retro post Space Travelers! It's May 2009, and I'm sending this blog entry into the future to offer a really lame excuse for not updating more frequently!

I'm here in Seattle for Western Kelrod's graduation! He just completed his M.S. in Game Design at Digipen, a school about making video games. He says it's a lot like Hogwarts with no chicks. I had no taken the time yet to come and visit, so I figured this would be a great time to come out to one of my favorite cities in the USA!

I'm not alone though. Kelly's family is here. A lively bunch they are. They are all young and excited about being together. I can't help but feel a certain longing when I'm around them. It's a peculiar desire. I want to be a part of it. Please, please, please let this become a sit-com, I'm so perfect for the role of witty neighbor.

I have a big personality. It can be proto-obnoxious if you don't get it, but it's not actually egocentric. There were many times when in large groups I'd find myself talking or telling stories and I became very self aware. These were Kelly's days to shine, and I didn't want to steal the spot light and embarrass myself. If I found myself talking too much, I'd retreat behind my laptop and be as quiet as a... something ultra fucking quiet. Kelly actually noticed. He talked to me about it and I explained how I was worried that I'd talk too much and how I was super proud of him and I didn't want to distract from anything. He said that people like my stories and that he was happy that I came. It didn't change how I felt, I tried my best to not speak as much over the rest of the time, or I'd try to only comment on the family's stories.

I guess the longing to belong in that loving family perhaps made me self conscious about what I do for affection and how I worry I'm perceived.
I grew up in a house where my family took others in, I certainly had other 2nd order homes, but mine was base; mine was prime; mine was the one above all others that the family only seemed to grow. I've been a part of letting others in, but I've never been a person to be let in myself. The Jacob's family, with there energy and excitement is hard not to covet and I wanted in, even if as the sit-com neighbor.

Alive Again

I've been letting my brain stir lately Space Travelers. I've been asking myself why I haven't been writing? Where has my desire gone?

Perhaps I've been flirting a little too close to Web 3.0 standards of internet experience and I just haven't brought anything new to the table. Perhaps I've been spending time on other forums writing my ideas or commenting on other people's thoughts. It just wont do. I am now at full computer capacity again save for the fact I can't use my old Photoshop install anymore on my new computer. Other than that, I've lost bit of data, or it would seem. There is missing video on my memory cards that for whatever reason, won't come off. I've let this hang up stop me from updating for too long and I can't let what happened to the blog happen again. It's easy to let a blog die when everything doesn't go "just" right. It's too easy to get over concerned with little thematic details and not publish until every little detail is right. This is an error. I knew it then. I know now. Just write and let it be imperfect. We hardly celebrated our 5000 hits Space Travelers. Thanks for reading, and I promise, I still have plenty of stories to come.