There Goes Our Hero

We Are to Be Dead Birds, But Not Today

2010-08-17T19:53:00.000-07:00

Look both ways before crossing the street Space Travelers. This evening, while driving home, a squirrel darted into the road. The car about 20 ft in front of me in the lane to my left prevented the squirrel from making it all the way across. I made for a hasty retreat, but Johnny Freedom Karr was headed right for it. I could not stop, nor did I have the maneuvering room to turn. I saw the squirrel flatten down just before its small frame disappeared behind the horizon of JFK's hood. It was hard to tell if the squirrel would be clear of my wheels. After passing over, I looked in my rear view mirror. I saw nothing. It vanished. I was relieved. Twice before, I've struck an animal...

...Both were birds.

One instance stands out in my mind. I was on my way into work one evening, and two birds swooped down. One went too low and I struck it. I heard the soft sound. I'd swear I could feel it in my hands through the steering wheel. I know that's very unlikely, but when it happened, I felt like it struck my heart. I was pierced.

As I drove, I looked back in the mirror. I saw it laying in the road. One wing up in the air. It was beating its raised wing with a terribly frantic rhythm. That, or it was already dead, and it was the wind that simply moved the bird's lifeless wing. As I slowed to the stoplight, I continued to look back in the mirror. The second bird landed next to dead or dying bird. It hopped around with its head down looking at the wounded bird. I'm not one to anthropomorphize animal behavior*, but I couldn't help but try and put myself in the bird's head. Did it know what had happened to the other bird? Did it feel sad? Did it hate me for killing the other bird? I pondered things like if they were mates, and what our chance cosmic encounter could mean. Did they have a nest? Eggs? How long would the bird stay there by the dead bird before it flew off? Would it return to that spot later, or would it leave and never think of the spot or occasion again?

The light turned green. I could not stay there. I drove on, and as I left, I saw the bird still there bouncing around looking at the ground. The scene faded from view, but not from mind. Thoughts of this bird would be in my head all day while I worked.

This was life. This was nature--It was not cruel, but indifferent. In my life, I'll have to be the dead bird only once, but all have to be the surviving bird numerous times over. I think the terror is that I realize I'm more prepared to die than to deal with death. To mourn is agony. It is not beautiful. So while I'm not the bouncing bird, I'll still have to fly away; I'll still have to still go when the light turns green. When death takes my friends and family, I'll have to keep moving. I can't stay arrested on the side of the road trying to understand it, there may be no answer. I can't just stay angry and blame something. I can't simply regret this... regret that. I'll be a dead bird one day, but until then, I can't use my life just staring at the earth.

*Space Traveler Fact: Anthropomorphizing is reserved for electronics and vehicles.

Chapter 33; Verse 1: The Autobahn Less Traveled

2010-08-16T18:10:00.000-07:00

Guten Abend mine Space Travelers. Ya! We are having fun now! He he.

It's been a while since I've strapped myself into plane and ventured off. I was investigating a trip to Europe for a while. I needed to get out and meet people; have a cultural experience. I needed to be put in a new context. I find that when I travel, I see myself in the third person (sort of). I think now is a good time for that. I'm coming out of a huge period of change and some reflection on who I'm becoming would be good.

Hans Liberty Auto

The plan is to land in Berlin on August 31st, and fly out on September 13th. I have a rental car reserved, and everything else (like lodging or figuring out how to order vegan food in other countries...) I'll improvise. Not much of a plan, but I'm confident in my ability to make this work. In many ways this trip has many similar elements to my 2007 road trip that started this blog. I'm traveling alone, which in many ways seems like I'm missing out on the whole "sharing the experience." I do like to have travel companions, but there is something incredibly satisfying about the independence and autonomy of single travel. In 2007, I had not planned to hang a sharp turn and go off the planned route, but had I not, I would have missed Devil's Tower and (this detail stands out to me) the prairie dogs in the surrounding plain.

So I have a general path sketched out, but nothing in concrete. My goal is to hit Berlin, Amsterdam, Brussels, Zurich, Frankfurt, and anything that catches my attention in transit between.

View Larger Map

Toilets: Stand Up, Seat Down

2010-07-29T03:17:00.000-07:00

Let's do it wrong Space Travelers! When was the last time you challenged why you do something? What defines what is the correct way? Try doing something wrong, and often enough, you'll find out.

There is the perennial joke about men and how we leave the toilet seat up. Silly manfolk bipedal urinators, why pee standing? Nobody can function at such an altitude!

I want this.

I'd never really had to deal with the seemingly inevitable debate. That was until about four-ish years ago. I was scolded for leaving the seat up. I was confused. It seemed harsh to meet such a sudden reprimand for a single offense. I went into the bathroom and the seat was down. I assumed she had lowered it. A few days later, the topic came up again, and again I was confused. I went into the bathroom and the seat was down. In protest, I pointed out that the seat was down. It was when she came in that the issue became clear to me. She marched in, then lowered the lid. I had not been leaving the seat up, but rather the lid. The break down in communication came from the difference in what we were calling the seat. Quickly this became one of those cases where you simply let the girlfriend win the argument because life is really too short to be fighting over toilet anatomy, and it's a suicide mission to correct a girlfriend on matters of definition or terminology.

We have in modern western society created a cultural practice of putting the seat down, and apparently this includes the lid (in eastern societies, they use a different toilet or the toilet just makes all the choices for you while playing music. See also: Weird Japanese things). It seems that to have an exposed and open toilet bowl is an offense worth a potty harangue from the lady-mate. Or so it seems. However, what in these last four years I haven't been able to wrap my head around is why? Who crafted this rule? Why do toilets have lids? If lids are a part of being polite, why don't public restrooms have lids on their toilets? It seems odd that our public choice should be less rude than what we choose to do in private residencies. Seat and lid down could be the righteous thing to do, but I want to understand why. The unexamined life is hardly worth living, and that includes etiquette in the water closet.

As it turns out, some answers are available. The first matter to address is the public restroom. As it turns out, it's a law. The Uniform Plumbing Code Section 409.2.2 requires the use of an "open seat," but allows an exception for private residences. The reasoning offered for the use of the open seat varies (splash back, genital contact, ease of cleaning, etc), but all logic offered resolves to some sort of sanitary measure as the common denominator. In the interest of public health, the lid is omitted entirely. Civilization seems to have a low priority on the lid, so why and how did this become an element of good manors in our homes?

"No! I will not calm down! The lid is symbolic of this entire relationship!"

A male-female cohabitation is the battleground in which this war is commonly waged (drunk in a bar was a close second). The common assertion from our finer halves is that they are "tired of putting the seat down for us." Pulling someone else's weight can be a real drag so I am sympathetic. Not to nitpick, but aren't they putting the seat down for themselves? The reverse certainly could be said as well, and we'd think not twice about a man having to lift the seat for himself. He's not doing it because she forgot anything, he's simply putting the toilet in the desired configuration. If he leaves either the lid or seat up and the next desired configuration is that it be resting in a horizontal orientation, the action is no more dramatic than lifting the seat before toilet use. In fact, when transitioning the seat out of the upright position, gravity is on your side. Voila! Now, all of the above can be used to argue either way for whose responsibility it is to put the toilet seat where, but at the heart of this intellectual quest is the matter of determining what the default position is.

In finding the default, let us summon science again. In the highest tradition of Newtonian physics, we note that a seat in the upright position is a dynamically stable system with a greater potential energy than the statically stable system of the seat being down. In the interest of using energy efficiently, it seems that lifting the seat is a waste. However, a lid in the down position requires the expenditure of energy for all users because it obstructs waste from entering the bowl. If the lid serves a function, then this use of energy may be a worth while investment. We should investigate possible functions.

Get lost in the beauty

The purpose of a lid is in itself a debate. At its simplest, it is purely ornate. I've examined images of both toilets with and without lids. I've decided there is merit to this argument. The lid increases the surface area of the toilet as a unit and provides a large flat area which is ideal for decoration. Anyone who has researched the housing market knows that kitchens and bathrooms are what sell homes. So who wouldn't want to protect their investment? Transforming the one place where you produce the worst sounds and smells into a work of art is a creative pursuit, and I support that kind of thing.

Beyond aesthetics, there is a functional element to the lid itself. For those who find themselves tired after a long a stressful day at work, a toilet with its lid down provides a sturdy bench. In terms of posture, a firm lid promotes proper spinal alignment, and by most designs, the height is such that the hamstring and shin will form a comfortable angle with each other and with respect to the floor. If the toilet has a rear tank, the individual may find its cold porcelain therapeutic to sore muscles and enjoy the lower lumbar support. To have good posture is to live well.

Earth day is everyday

Another utilitarian theory about the lid is that it acts as a two-way defensive barrier. This school of thought takes into account two main (but numerous secondary) scenarios. The first is to keep whatever is in the toilet from escaping out. Currently, this has only proven effective against large vermin such as rats that swim up the pipes. Attempts have been made to stop odors and insects from escaping, however, in 2010, our toilet technology simply does provide a viable solution for these common foes. The second form of defense is the idea that the lid will keep things from getting inside the toilet. It is unknown at this time, but conservative figures suggest that as many as 50 bazillion pristine toilet bowls have been contaminated when a user accidentally or intentionally dropped their $200.00 cell phone in. Most mobile phones and PDAs operate on lithium ion batteries and the run-off toxins from such a spill would render the toilet water unsafe to drink. I don't need to belabor the point, the lid can provide both security and an eco-safeguard to the local watershed.

A prototype hybrid unit

Given the complications that arise from toilets with actionable seats and lids, I began to wonder if it would be simpler if we simply fixed the seat to the bowl, and removed the lid all together. Seats and lids are movable parts and are prone to damage. The average American household spends over $26,000.00 on toilet maintenance in a given year. This cost could be cut by up to 50%, and free up monetary resources for struggling families if fixed-seat toilets were installed. This removes an unnecessary choice when using the bathroom, and helps save time (no doubt, equally important as money). Don't think we can build it? Wrong dummy! This is the U.S. of A! We already have them, and they are being implemented in US prisons across the nation where in 2008 2,304,115 happy inmates use them daily without up-or-down dilemma. Additionally, a seat that can't be removed, can't be used as a weapon in a cell-block uprising. Now that's something we can all believe in: A safer America.

I encourage all people to explore why we do what we do. I used to be a mindless drone putting the toilet seat and lid down because I was told to do so. Now when I place them down, I'm doing it for my own reasons. It shows I care. It's a message to my loved ones. A message that I take pride in the appearance of my home. It says that I care for my body. It's a warning to rodent sewer intruders that "United We Stand." A lid down is the proud badge of the eco-minded individual. Lastly, it says to all those that follow me into the bathroom that I trust in their ability to make the right choice, and that without the freedom to choose, it's no different than being in prison. Don't just take my word for it though. I encourage everyone to set out on the noble quest to find answers to this and other very emotional and personal questions about the human condition. They may say "Whatever dude. You thought waaaaaay too much about this." Cognito ergo sum toileto seato summissus. I think, therefore I lower the toilet seat.

"Go away! I'm pooping!"

~Plato

(428–427 BCE)

As a last note Space Travelers, in my research, I discovered many new and exciting ways to use a toilet. If you attempt these at home, it should be under proper supervision, and always after doing warm up stretches.

The Side-Saddle: This stance elongates the frame and is quite sliming. Showcase your classic elegance with this old time favorite. Good for group settings.

The Sea-Doo: This sporty stance is for advanced users only. This is of course a slight modification on the "Stallion" which required stir-ups. This method provides all the enjoyment of the Stallion without the expensive equipment.

vLog Unspecial 07: Impersonations

2010-07-27T09:41:00.000-07:00

Here is the companion video Space Travelers.

Don't forget to rate the video and follow me on Facebook. I plan to keep drawing more faces as a side project. I will upload all the face pictures into a picture folder on the facebook account where you can post comments on the pictures themselves and what type of character you think they'd be.

Single Thought #9

2010-07-21T02:48:00.000-07:00

Some things hurt. Some things leave a mark. However, given the choice to never feel anything again, I'll take the mark.

The Book Versus The Movie

2010-07-20T01:28:00.000-07:00

Salutations Space Travelers. I just got done doing some midnight cleaning of my apartment while trying not to wake the roommates. When they wake up and come out of their rooms, it will be like Christmas morning, if their letters to Santa requested that the damn kitchen be cleaned (They've been nice, I'm the naughty one). As I was cleaning, and organizing, I looked at the bookshelves. I realized that I have more movies than books. There is a debate that rages on between the book and the movie. Had movies won my brain's real estate?

I've never considered myself to be very literary. I was not the child with my nose in a book. I was too impatient. I couldn't be bothered to devote multiple days to stories that took only 80 minutes to tell on TV or in a theater. As my peers began to read more as an extra-curricular activity, I witnessed a trend. The more films I watched with them, the more I'd start to hear "the book was better." At first, I was arrested in a sort of disbelief. I often had enjoyed the film, and I didn't see anything wrong with it. Seeing my fellow audience seem so disappointed was mildly alarming. As I heard this phrase more and more, I started to worry that there was a whole world out there I was missing out on; a book world, where the story was always better.

In 1999, A very special film came out. The movie was Fight Club, and it's dark visuals coupled with its gritty attitude was intoxicating. I watched it over and over. A few of my friends and I even got in fist fights in our garages. We were punch drunk, literally (I told you it was intoxicating). It was a lot of reality mimicking fiction. But hey, the story is about exploring the male condition, so perhaps this was a form or exploring the ideas in it. We didn't fight for too long, and never as fiercely as in the film. We tempered our enthusiasm, and cooled our teenage jets pretty fast when we discovered something important: We all fucking hated getting punched in the face. It was awful.

Fiction and storytelling can have a very powerful effect on those who digest it. It can become as real as the person allows. Since I was done getting decked in the jaw, I decided to read the book. When I came across a copy, it was a soft back with the movie art on the front. It was obviously a reprint made exactly for people like myself who had seen the movie, and now wanted to read the book. A funny thing happened right before I began to read Fight Club. I stumbled upon an interview with Chuck Palahniuk where he said that he like the movie better than his book. I was puzzled. This wasn't right. The book was supposed to be better! The author isn't supposed to say that kind of thing! habpasadfiuonfcwdnwepowcna'xa!!!1one

Now, having read all but one of Palanuik's books, I look back and think that this isn't shocking at all. Not for Palahniuk. He likes very much to play the devil's advocate and his humor is often quite contrarian. Well played Chuck.

I read the book. It was good, but it was good in many ways because in my mind this was the cast of Brat Pitt, Edward Norton, and Helena Bonham Carter. Oh, and Meatloaf. Him too. To me, it felt less like a book, and more like a projection of the movie. The same thing happened when I read the Harry Potter books. I began after the first movie, and finished prior to the conclusion of the movies. J.K. Rowling does such a wonderful job of describing Harry, but the truth is that no matter what she wrote, I will always think of Daniel Radcliffe.

Potter ala livre ou toile?

So how do I compare these works of literary art to their cinematic cousins? In effect, I've really just compared two movies: Their movie, and the one in my head; my movie. I can't be considered objective on a matter where my imagination is on one side of the scale.

There are some books that I read prior to them becoming a movie. What? You didn't so? I'm hurt (E tu Space Travelers). Another Palahniuk book, and notably my favorite, Choke, was made into a film in 2008. It stars the very very very (I just completed a "very" combo!) talented Sam Rockwell. However... I didn't really love the film. It was okay. The book was better... There, I said it. But was it? Or was it simply that I was struggling with someone else's manifestation of the characters? Was it just one mental director (me) being overly critical and envious of the actual director? For instance, I thought that instead of Kelly MacDonald, the obvious choice was Monica Bellucci for the role of Paige. Geeze. Get a Clue, right? Seemingly, the Director Clark Gregg never read the book, otherwise he would have come to this inevitable conclusion as easily as I did.

Maybe it's about the order of operations.

Right now I'm really into the Scott Pilgram comics by Brian Lee O'Malley. Volume Six, the final volume, comes out today. The film adaptation of the omnibus is due in Theaters in August starring mumble champ Michael Cera as lead man loser-hero Scott Pilgram. Get excited. It looks visually exciting, and (the trailers at least 1 2 3) captures the video-game-rock-n-roll-mid-twenties feel of the graphic novels. Last time I was at my local comic store, the store cleric explained, with the gusto and charisma of the basset hound, that he was holding off reading Scott Pilgram until after the movie. Did my gregarious friend have a point? What if I've poisoned the well! What if I've ruined the cinematic experience! How can I enter the theater at all? I'll cross into that scared dark cave with the knowledge of the six volumes in my head, knowing that to fit the story into a two hour film, lots will have to be cut out. Cut out with a chainsaw, not a scalpel, at that.

I know that a graphic novel is not the same as a book (It has pictures. Weeeeee!). However, I think the reasons that one might enjoy the film less than its original form is the same/similar for both. Certainly the die hard Marvel and DC fans well tell you (No seriously, they don't shut up once you get them started) about how the recent comic book movies could have been better (Perhaps there is an exception for Christopher Nolan's Batman movies. They didn't try to be canon as much as feel correct, but hey, why so serious?). We like books and graphic novels. Opinion-fact! They have lots of details to feed our imagination so our mind's Director can compose a masterpiece.

I don't believe I'll ever be able to compare the book and the movie. I won't be able to assign a value to some of a film's elements so that it is readily comparable to the book. Think of the many beautiful cinematic scores composed for films that became characters themselves. I for one, cannot think about Jurassic Park without thinking of that beautiful symphony, or how could I ever relive the climatic ending of Last of the Mohicans without hearing the dramatic and emotional Irish song racing though my head (Wait? Irish? Daniel Day Lewis was in the film...). There are some things that defy value and discourage cross evaluation.

Maybe we should not seek to compare the book and the movie; the novel verse the film; the PDF against the MPEG. Let them be their own experience each. If they do cross paths, let it be a collaboration in our imaginations, not a competition for our favor. Some stories may not be able to arouse us in both forms. Some stories will remain on the bookshelf, and others will only light the silver screen.

Someday we could have a way to have project holographic images directly into our heads. We'd literally be in the story. If that day comes, I'll probably (like Palahniuk) declare that the virtual story is better than the movie, and perhaps even the book.

vLog Unspecial 06: Private Parts

2010-07-17T00:02:00.000-07:00

I don't know how this slipped through the cracks Space Travelers. I made this vLog Unspecial some time ago, and it seems I never posted it up!

Enjoy! I will it so!

Lt. Dan is in the House

2010-07-16T06:38:00.000-07:00

Long time no post Space Travelers. I was a little blogged out for a bit after working on two blogs at once rather actively. The Metrics of Me adventure in fitness and health is complete. I don't have any current quest, so I won't be posting there. I plan to leave the blog up because you never know if someday I might return there to document some other exciting life change.

I've created a facebook page for the blog so people can follow it and get updates more easily when I post new entries. Additionally, I think this will be a good way to get more feedback and even take requests on future content. These days, I've been in a rather editorial mood with the blog. I've have my writing style critiqued as being rather didactic and another person referring to some of my arguments as being totalitarian and lacking respect for pluralism. I don't fully know how to process this feedback. On the blog, I've been wanting to talk more about ideas, and less about what is going on in my own life. I can't say I credit anything specifically for this trend, only that I've viewed this blog less as a diary and more as a creative outlet for my thoughts, and I don't know how creative I can be with the daily minutia of my life. Some bloggers are great at that, and I love reading their stuff. I wish I could make my logical Tuesday rich with metaphors and witty insight. I don't think my lifestyle currently fits that kind of blog, although I do like doing the "Chapter/Verse" posts when I do travel. This blog is my sandbox, it's often been experimental, but it's always been very intimate. For the last three years, I'd like to say thanks to all the Space Travelers reading.

... normally I'd try to offer some sort of introduction to the topic, but I'll just jump in...

I've been thinking a lot about the media relationship with Atheism. A few years ago, Space Traveler Leek pointed out one of his greatest frustrations in film: Lt. Dan. LD represents a mythological atheist: The atheist who believes in a god, but is mad/angry/upset with it. Needless to say, this is not an atheist. The atheist apostate meme is something that I believe creates a great deal of stress in many atheist's lives.

That frustration can lead to actual anger as my girlfriend pointed out to me recently when she said: "You sound angry." My anger wasn't a product of my atheism. It was a resentment that I did not feel I was capable of expressing anger (in the same way and degree as a religious person), without it being some sort of statement about my beliefs. I'm human, and I experience the full range of emotions, and that includes anger. I'm not defined by anger, it should not mean that media generalizations of atheists are justified because I take objection to being put into a box. The more my anger is emphasized, the more my joy, love, and patience is deemphasized, and I feel less appreciated as a human being.

Two very lead fictional atheist characters right now are House and Bones. While popular, they tend to be depicted as socialy flawed and unhappy individuals. To complete their task/agenda (whatever the plot is) they seem to require the compassion of other more well adjusted spiritual people.

I had someone tell me in contrast that "Yes, he's weak. But he's also right. Logically, clearly and obviously right about everything all the time. He points out delusions and comforting self-deceptions in others. I think [House] does atheism more good than harm, at least more so than those who have gone before." They went on to say "Sometimes see Hugh Laurie himself insisting on a more real representation of an atheist."

It could really go both ways couldn't it?

His weakness and bitterness are unrelated to his ability as a doctor. Certainly he could be as sober and disillusioning to self-deceptions without being bitter and mean. One of the ways to make a story interesting is to give your protagonist idiosyncrasies. The TV detective Monk was OCD. This played into the role he had as a detective plus it provided for humorous scenes about how it affected otherwise normal social situations. House has no tact, which is makes his bed-side manor humorous and shocking.

House is perhaps a good atheist character in many ways. He doesn't choose the easy road. He chooses one with many hardships, and much pain as a result. That path however means that he helps many people, and it's no less meaningful because he chooses to do it (as opposed to doing it because he has faith that it is his purpose).

Honestly, House is fine. His character flaws are interesting ones, and his story is compelling. My worry is that these negative things are projected to be a part of his identity as an atheist. After all, it seems like his mental anguish would be lessened if he did believe in god. It would make all the nice people he has to see die feel like less a tragedy if he could delude himself with thoughts of an afterlife.

While House is angry at the world, and Lt Dan is angry at a god, I can't help but feel like the subtext on both is the same: All atheists are incomplete and hurt people who will ultimately be better and happier once they accept god. In the epilogue bits of Forrest Gump, we see Lt. Dan, clean shaved, in love, calm, polite, emotionally healed, and god loving. In the movie Signs, Mel Gibson's character, a former priest, rediscovers god, and is seemingly cured of his anger. I don't know how house will end, but he's already had scenes that were either supernatural or drug induced transcendent moments that suggest we are walking a familiar path.

House's pain makes him human. We connect with him. I'd like to see and ending with House emotionally healed too, I just don't want his Atheism treated like it's a wound.

Son of a Gun

2010-05-27T17:39:00.000-07:00

Bang Bang Space Travelers. Keep honking, I'm reloading the rhetorical six-gun. Lock stock and and two smoking rhetorical barrels. Let's chit chat rata tat tat about guns.

I own two guns. I never asked for either. They were gifts. One was a rifle gifted to me by my grandfather. It has a small caliber, but a decent scope. The other is a 38 Chief special, a small 5-shot snub-nosed revolver. You might recall this gun from my Home on the Range vLog. I don't desire the liability of owning either gun so I've asked a family friend to store them in his gun safe. I'm not afraid of guns, I just don't want the responsibility.

I don't object to gun ownership. I don't think that if you own guns you're some nut-job either. That said, there are plenty of gun-nuts, and they aren't relegated to some obscure corner of society; they're everywhere. It's not simply enough to be able to own a firearm, but rather they believe that they should be able to own any number of guns and of any type.

There are two major arguments I hear in regards to the ownership of advanced weaponry. The first is self defense, the second is that it is a form of control to keep the government in check. I'd like to address both of these. I think however now is a good time to talk about some terms.

An assault rifle is defined by it's ability to have selective rate of fire, intermediate cartridge and a detachable magazine.

An assault weapon is defined by having both a detachable magazine and a pistol grip, sometimes in conjunction with other features such as a folding stock or a flash suppressor.

There is often some overlap in these terms, but in general these terms refer to legal language as outlined by the laws of the United States. Specifically, the term assault weapon draws a great deal of controversy from gun advocates. They say that any weapon is an assault weapon if used to assault someone. Cute, but hardly the point. The Assault Weapon Ban written in 1994 was allowed to expire under President George W Bush. There has been a great deal of debate on what the effect of that has been. Other than debate, people have enjoyed frothing at the mouth.

The argument of self defense is certainly a justifiable one. I have no objection to a person purchasing and owning a gun for self protection. As an engineer however, I have something to say about what guns are designed to protect and what guns are designed specifically for purposes of attack. Engineering is more than the fabrication of a item. It is the specific tailoring of an item to a specific objective with defined parameters.

E.g. - In formula car racing, the aerodynamic package will be changed each race and tailored for specific tracks. Tracks with long straight lengths will lead a design group to minimize drag, while a track with many tight curves would lead a team to optimize down-force. Either way, asking what type of car is the best is a questoin only answered given a specific context.

Some firearms are certainly well engineered for self-protection. Their engineers clearly understand that the ability to operate a weapon properly and accurately is balanced with the ability to transport or store the weapon. Similarly, engineering a weapon for the purposes of attacking will have different concerns and therefore will drive different design elements. To pretend all firearms are equal or even designed to accomplish the same goals is foolish. I seriously doubt that the creators of the AK-47 or the M-16 market their weapon as anything but the ultimate in attack.

Certainly, a sword is nothing but a large knife, but to pretend it was designed to chop vegetables in your kitchen would be to ignore the sword's proper context. This is the problem. Some groups are arguing that they have the right to chop their vegetables however they like, and when challenged on that front they are hiding behind some strawman argument that they have a right to own knives!

Here's the formula: Take an extreme position. When confronted, hide behind a reasonable position. Then argue there is no difference between your position and the reasonable one. By doing this, the reasonable position is used as some sort of umbrella argument for all positions. Argumentum ad reductio. This is frustrating.

Many argue that assault weapons are simply classifications which are only cosmetic. I'm hard pressed to understand how a flash suppressor is a cosmetic change on a weapon. Flash suppressors have a very specific function, and it is not a defensive feature. It is a feature which tactically aides in concealing your position. If your position is concealed, who are you defending yourself from? What defense fantasy are you in where this is self defense?

The second major argument I hear is that the reason the constitution grants gun ownership is because citizen's reserve the right to defend themselves... from the government itself. This idea is that basically that the central or state government could become out of control and it would be the public's job to take control. No, I'm serious. I hear this one very frequently.

While it is only speculation whether or not we've ever needed such a protection from our own government, it's obvious when inspecting our history that if we ever did need it to fight a police state (Japanese internment camps, Hollywood blacklists, National guard opening fire on students...), we didn't use it. In spite of this, we do NOT have to speculate on the effect gun ownership has had on the household. Perhaps, the recent attempt by the Michigan Christian Hutaree Militia to kill police officers and start an uprising is what the founders meant. I hear plenty of dommsdaying about how Obama is a socialist, Marxist, communist, secret muslim, and eater of babies (Bobs ya uncle!). I hear plenty about the inevitable sky-is-falling end of our republic. So here is my question: Why aren't out proud gun owners storming the capital? Seems like they are the same people complaining about Obama and the creeping red menace. Isn't this exactly what the argument calls for? Aren't we supposed to be putting our government in check? I'm calling the bluff. The Hutarees are the embodiment of this belief, and we can see that this kind of illogic leads only to madness. I say for all the tough guy posturing of the gun lobby, they seem perfectly fine with this argument... as long as it's somebody else.

Plenty of ammo left here, and I know there are additional arguments. I see them however as being closely enough related to the two I choose that I did not feel they demanded direct addressing.

I believe that the 2nd amendment does grant the right to personal gun ownership. I however am not as dumb to think that it grants citizens a carte blanche access to any weaponry they desire. The citizens, state and central government have a real compelling interest in limiting access to this kind of weaponry. Finding the balance of individual and civil interests will not resolve to people owning more and more and more guns.

Americans should additionally know about how our gun laws and access affects the world outside of our borders. Recently in a speech to congress, the Mexican president requested of the USA to better regulate our access to guns. He explained to congress that when the Assault Weapons Ban expired in 2004, the cartels have become more armed, and they are using American purchased weapons. 80% of the weapons seized from the drug cartels are purchased in the USA. With the body count rising in Mexico, we are accessory to this violence. I defy anyone to explain to me how their desire to own an assault weapon is worth this. Gun apologists that say the cartels would get their weapons elsewhere, sure. However, they choose to get them from us, and it's because it's easier and cheaper. We're their favorite. We arm them, and we buy their drugs.

Dear Space Travelers, we live in a crazy and violent world. I only hope that people realize that no solution is to be found in embracing either madness or violence. I'll close with a story.

Yesterday I went to the Smithsonian Museum of the American Indian with my mother. She has been an anthropologist her entire life. She knows a great deal about the native peoples, and as such was able to add quite an enlightening effect on the museum's displays. She told me the origin of the phrase "bury the hatchet." It involves the Iroquois Nation's foundation. There were six tribes in total that came together, but they did not wish to come together peacefully and there was much blood shed. Finally, they met in peace and formed their confederacy. Their confederacy helped protect them from the ever expanding colonial presence in North America (they were not forced West). It began with them meeting in peace. In that meeting, a great pit was dug. Into that pit, the weapons of the six tribes were placed. They covered the pit in soil and planted a tree on top. To this day, the symbol of the Iroquois Nation is that tree.

If you think you are in threat of your government abusing you, think about burying the hatchet. They do not regret their choice. If you think you prize your gun, imagine prizing a weapon you built with your own hands. They still put it into the earth.

We cannot let gun ownership be the practice of Mutually Assured Destruction on the individual level. Such is suicide.

Chapter 32, Verse 1: The Ruins

2010-05-18T15:21:00.000-07:00

A happy photo treat today Space Travelers! Om nom nom on these cool pics while I muse...

These are some select pictures from my trip to the Capitol Ruins in DC. Yes, the Capitol still stands, but if you (read: me) had not fallen asleep in history class so often you'd know that the Capitol was burnt down in the War of 1812. The rubble from the Capitol was moved to a hill in what is now Rock Creek Park. Deep in the park on an unassuming trail, you'll discover an odd site. Ornate pieces of limestone and marble covered in soft green moss and overgrown by plants.

It seemed like the perfect place for a photo date Space Travelers. It's this kind of thing which makes you fall in love with this city.

I've been going through a great deal of change lately. I feel like I'm in a very exciting and profound stage of metamorphosis. It was nice to visit somewhere old and in ruin, and yet so beautiful. What ruins will remain of who I was?

"Queer Beer"

2010-05-15T04:30:00.000-07:00

A bit of a rant today Space Travelers. This has been bothering me as long as I've been aware of it (which is now about a decade): The bear trap.

When I was becoming curious about alcohol in my teenage years, and began experimenting I quickly discovered that some alcoholic drinks were enjoyable, and others tasted like piss. What I also picked up on (like the observant youth I was) is that men and women had different drinking expectations, and whoever the authority on this was remained hidden in the shadows.

Drinking was an experimental endeavor in high school. I understood drunkeness only to the capacity that you'd seen others act abnormally. Even in the case where I might observe an individual sick or hung over, I had no ability to empathize. Wanting to feel what it was like to drink and be inebriated was far more alien than the more readily understandable media message about drinking: Holding a beer made you look cool, tough, and likable. As a awkward young man who was convinced he was alone in awkwardness, beer seemed like it made sense as a part of the formation of who I'd like to be.

One problem, I couldn't stand it. Beer sucked. Every time. I began looking for a new drink which could offer the exploration outside of sobriety and simultaneously offer me the social reward that I was pretending not to want. Casually. What I found instead was that the rejection of beer seemed to be in part a rejection of manhood. It was as if beer itself was a part of the blueprint of the modern man. I didn't understand this right of passage.

The next step was trying to find a beer I liked, because the types of beer that I had access to at high school parties (the type of beer that is sold in 30 packs) was scoring pitifully with me (and still does). Once outside of the more commercial hemisphere of the beer landscape, I found it much more difficult to navigate what I was supposed to try and how to even start determining what I liked. In college, I did find a few beers I liked (I remain rather loyal to Delirium Tremens). Despite finding some tolerable candidates, and an exclusive list of beers I moved into the enjoyable column, I started to wonder if I had simply traded one beer trap for another? Had I taken the elitist bait?

Admittedly, the dilemma was significantly smaller at this point. I had made excellent friends with wine, and had something of a friends with benefits relationship with a gin and tonic made with Hendricks Gin (two limes for me cause I'm fucking special). Still, I wanted to figure out where beer and I stood and if we were more than just frenemies with a common social circle. I began to wonder if there were other men like me who felt like me, that they were staying in this relationship because they didn't know how to get out. Things weren't terrible, but where was the spark?

To recap where I'm at now, let's watch some commercials.

When I was young, I understood that drinking was as much social as it was utilitarian.

As I experimented, I learned that men drink beer, and that it was cool. Damn cool.

Then I learned that not drinking beer, made you less a man. If you wanted to sip on a Zima (do they even make this stuff anymore?) or a Smirnof Ice, you're being made a cuckold by a beverage while you sip your "queer beer." I believe "bitch beer" as was the popular phrase in the jock strap community (saints, all). It makes me wonder sometimes. How many gallons of the beer consumed in a given day is done in the name of not being a "pussy?" Hell, even drinking the wrong beer is a white flag these days.

I'm a little wiser now. Don't get me wrong here, I still struggle with beer-gender. Typically, it's more about when I'm not drinking beer. There's some sort of artifact thought in the back of my head "should I be drinking a beer instead?" The wiser part of me is the part that reminds me that what I'm experiencing is very powerful and effective marketing. Rationally, we all know that beer has fuck nothing to do with a person's sexuality, yet it's so simple to get caught up in the meme of beer glory and heaven, owned and operated by the St Pauli's girl.

When I think about beer-media right now, I try to make it into something positive/constructive. As a feature on the gender landscape, I think my struggle with male self image as it relates with beer must in someway be a exercise in empathy for me. The intense media pressure to behave withing certain social norms and obtain degrees of material success is something that is not alien to women. Many women struggle with their self image and how they square peg the the round hole of main stream media acceptance.

Dear Space Travelers, be conscious of the media you digest and how you digest it. This really isn't about beer. It's about the car we're supposed to have, the job we're supposed to have, and the endless chase after six pack abs. The first message of an ad is that you lack something. I'm here to say, you bought a DVR so you could skip the commercials, so do it. No DVR? You can find something to do for four minutes that won't insult your self worth.

Cheers.

How Free?

2010-05-13T11:00:00.000-07:00

Hello Space Travelers, you're staring at possibly the most terrible offences to Islam: An image of the Prophet Muhammad. I drew it. Me. I'll tell you why.

Recently, the creators of South Park aired an episode which featured (kind of) Muhammad. On screen, he was a stick man, and later a black box that read "censored." The point was simple: Your beliefs can't dictate my life and my speech, or rather that of Matt and Trey. The creators and various staff received death threats for this. Eventually Viacom (parent company of comedy Central) said they would pull the episode. This displeased a lot of people. It wasn't because the episode was particularly good either (it was par for the course if you ask me), but simply the principle that people had successfully leveraged violence to get their way.

I'm not really the type to provoke, and certainly as a I drew this, I was concerned about the Muslims that have nothing to do with this issue. Would drawing this make incense them and send the wrong message? Would it marginalize a group further that has been struggling to fit in? In the end, I decided to draw it and let it be what it will. I admit that I'm not well schooled in the dogma surrounding the rule about recreating the image of Muhammad. Perhaps in the end, what comments will come will serve to open up the dialog that is so terribly absent. Either way, I know that if this is truly an offense, it is not worth my life (or anyone's). I get offended daily. I'm not going to hurt someone. If this is serious enough that people are being threatened, the Muslim world is going to have to do some honest introspection on how they find harmony with the rest of the world outside of their customs. There is one question: Do you value free speech over being offended? I do, even if my blood boils as I listen to cruel bigots like Pat Robertson use it to demoralize the entire gay population or even the people of Haiti.

I've never been a USA USA USA rah rah rah type, so when I say that I value the freedom of free speech, it's not some flag waving crap. Our ability to express ourselves without the fear of the government, and without fear of violent reproach is the foundation of all free societies. On May 20th, many artists (both professional and amateur) will partake in the drawing of the Prophet Muhammad to stand in solidarity with those who have already been threatened with violence. While it inspires a warm feeling inside, I hope it also serves to remind us how fortunate we are to be one of the free societies in the world that we can do this. Plenty cannot claim the same.

I won't use the line that if we don't use our right's we lose them. That's a Tea Party rationale for bringing guns to a protest. Instead, I'll keep it simple, don't do this because it's "cool," or "controversial," it isn't a funny. I'd be just as worried about our freedom of speech if it became nothing more than a punchline, even if it started with a joke.

Closing thoughts from Thunderfoot:

vLog Unspecial 05: Lullaby

2010-05-06T14:52:00.001-07:00

Good evening Space Travelers all timeouts come to an end and when you've got something to say (or sing), you should do it. No sense in dying with your music still inside.

It's not the greatest recording, and the urge to erase and rerecord was very strong, but I'm okay with it not being perfect. Anyone can be impressive, and singing into a desktop mic on a webcam in my gym clothes: Not charming. I guess no matter how I was clothed, I'd still at some level feel naked. shaaring this kind of thing is very personal and intimate.

I feel like many things are changing in me lately, and not just physically. I hope to share many of those things here, and perhaps with a melody at times. This boy has a song.

Sweet Dreams Space Travelers.

Time Out

2010-04-19T13:42:00.000-07:00

Feel the burn Space Travelers. I've been going through lots of great changes as of late. I will be blogging a lot in the near future, but not here. I've been struggling to keep up on the posts here due to many new life changes. You can read about what I'm doing at my newest blog venture: The Metrics of Me.

Chapter 31, Verse 1: Take-Off, Death, and Taxes

2010-03-29T13:39:00.000-07:00

Good Evening Space Travelers. I've been flying around a lot lately. I have recently been to San Diego to visit family and most recently to St. Louis for a wedding. I was supposed to go to Vail, Colorado, but I missed my flight. Stupid me, but I didn't lose any money on it. All this taking off and landing has increased the frequency in a activity I do when I'm on planes.

I acknowledge my mortality.

As the plane takes off, I think about it crashing. It is something I think about every time a plane takes off or lands. I thought about how this could be my last moment alive. I felt okay about things. The people I love, they know I love them. I felt pretty free and at peace.

I guess to me, mortality is more than death. When I'm acknowledging it, I'm not just digesting the idea of no longer being alive. I'm thinking of myself in terms of the finite. I do not believe in an afterlife, nor reincarnation. This is my one life, and so when I think about mortality, I think about what I'm doing with my one life.

Often, after thinking about mortality makes me feel like I need to give more. It makes me inspect my relationships. I take a snapshot in my head of whoever I'm thinking about as the wheels leave the ground, and when I land, I make sure to contact them in the week to see how they are.

If I'm to trace this back, I think it goes back to my father. He always told me to treat everyone like it was the last time I would see them. It wasn't some message of impending doom nor was it as morbid as it sounds. It didn't inspire guilt either. I've just wanted to live free of that kind of burden.

It would bee terrible of me to leave others with an unresolved feeling if (for example) we had an argument. I wouldn't want someone to have to feel that way.

Benjamin Franklin says that only two things are for sure in life: Death and Taxes. Having said that, in 2010, I'm celebrating my annual tradition of putting it off until the very last minute.

And just because I felt like it, here is some more flash art courtesy of Facebook and free time.

Bring on Spring

2010-03-02T20:19:00.000-08:00

Hello Space Travelers, I think the snow is almost melted and maybe I'll get to ride LBJ this week if it gets up to 50 degrees and it's dry outside. Here's a little something fun I drew on facebook.

Chapter 30, Verse 1: Make Love and an Open Letter

2010-02-13T08:25:00.000-08:00

I've got a headache Space Travelers. I drank too much last night. This is something that happens. Fact. The poisons of choice was two Chimay triples followed by a legion of cheap gin armed with tonic. I'm taking the morning to recover and I'm going to do something I've been putting off for a while: Compose an open letter to Cindy Gallop. I first learned about Cindy on TED. Here is her segment.

I used to do wellness education in college, and many of the topics that I'd address were about sexual health. This is a topic I care deeply about, and one that I feel deserves a sober approach. I tire of the back-of-the-classroom giggling on the topic of sex. I was then very pleased when I was listening to Cindy. She spoke in a very confident and direct tone. She spoke much like we want our doctors to speak to us about our health. In many ways, her approach to talking about sex skipped all warm-up foreplay to make the audience comfortable. I very much appreciate this. However, something just wasn't right. While I was pretty much on board with her problem statement, I felt that her method of addressing it was tragically flawed.

Her observations: Pornography has become modern day sexual education. That pornography as entertainment displays sexual norms that are not always positive or promote good sexual health. That in a society where discussion of sexual topics is taboo, people lack the proper resources to get the information they need.

Her idea: Create a website to separate porn myth from sex reality. Her creation is a website called make love not porn and addresses specific topics and leaves space for users to leave feedback.

Lick some email stamps Space Travelers, and hope the internet postal service is running.

Dear Cindy Gallop,

My name is Alias Tagami. I am writing to you to address some concerns I have after recently seeing your TED talk and after exploring your sexual education website Make Love Not Porn. This is not a letter from a church group; not a letter from some hyper crazy evangelical who thinks you're trying to get every 14 year old pregnant by saying the word "vagina" in public. I am a 26 yr old man who writes a blog about social issues. I do have a history as a wellness educator, and I am very passionate about sexual health topics. It is that passion that actually led me to find your TED talk in the first place. I very much respect and appreciate the sober manner in which you spoke. It is refreshing to see someone not beat around the bush and address sexual topics as serious things that are not to be giggled at or ashamed of.

Your talk made one very profound point that stands out above all other things: That pornography has become modern day sex education. I agree. Further, I believe this is not a good thing, and not because porn is bad or immoral either. I believe we are on the same page here. I was watching your talk and quite impressed, at this point I was cheering you on. You had the tone, and you had delivered clearly your thesis.

But then we had a split. Your message seemed to be very directly aimed at getting sexual education to girls and women, and yet you seemed to only address the porn mythos that exist in boys and men. Your statement that a certain level of "reeducation, rehabilitation, and reorientation" need to take place seemed heavily aimed at men, and yet your site seems to address girls and women. I see this as a disconnect. If modern day porn has become de facto
sexual education, then should we not examine who is would be drawing any information from it? In other words, if a man is getting in his head certain sexual norms about sexual intercourse from porn, it doesn't make sense to address girls and women about a topic like cumming on a girl's face. The message on your website only further adds to the problem I believe. If the porn myth is that every girl likes this, and you put "not necessarily," you've done your job in diffusing the myth, but you've left the reader in an undefined place. I think this is a bad place to leave a person. Additionally, the user feed back on each page does not help a reader get reliable information and is often very contradictory.

There is a functional issue as well. How does one find your site? If I am a 14 year old boy or girl who is looking for information on the web, what actually is going to happen? They will open a browser window and type in a question or phrase on google. Do you think they will navigate on their own to your site? But more importantly, in addressing the porn myth versus the sexual reality, you've chosen the wrong myths. What you've chosen are literally the mechanics of intercourse. To me, this is not where the bulk of where porn distorts human sexual relationships. A real porn myth worth addressing would be who you have sex with, and not how you have sex. In a porn feature a pair may have sex only moments after they've met a total stranger. Birth control is not addressed. Contraceptives are rarely used. These are the real important myths to address because these are the types of sexual topics which would promote an open dialog between sexual partners and allow for candid communication about all the other stuff. The mechanics of sex are in our genes, and no matter what we put down on paper or on the web, it is going to come down to the doing part of doing it. Let's address the issues of sex that take place before nudity, before arousal, and before humping and moaning. Let's get people to where you are in speaking without blushing on the topic. I think that would be the most empowering sexual education.

Lastly, there is one more thing, and it's about the whole "reeducation, rehabilitation, and reorientation" thing as being what I perceived as your only break from earnest discussion. It felt like a punchline, and at that kind of a cheap shot. As a man, I felt your comment implied that misinformation about human sexuality was a bunch of bless their hearts (and boners) guys who just don't have the worldly perception that you do as a woman. I found the statement's subtext to be a bit sexist, and very unnecessary. Sexual education is of great important to all people, independent of gender. You should not turn off men to your message by inserting this kind of baggage.

I can tell you deeply care about this, and I admire your initiative. I also envy your platform, so I hope you appreciate the opportunity you have now. Because, I'm rather wordy, I'll try my best to summarize what I'd hope you'd do with your platform. I would like you to reconsider your site's user feedback. I suggest that you at minimum put in place some sort of moderation for comments to safeguard against false information getting to a interested reader. Diversify the site's porn myths to include topics about sexual relationships and not just sexual mechanics. On the topics about sexual mechanics, please consider your audience and that it is not just men who express negative porn myths and practice porn norms. I would like you to review and do some critical thinking about how helpful the "some do some don't" statements are on your site. It feels like you're afraid to make a bold statement here, and waffling doesn't help a reader that is looking for reliable information.

I am a supporter of your efforts, and though my summary is critical of the fruits of your labor, I want you to know that I admire what you're doing. I hope that my feedback is useful to you. This is an open letter that I will be posting on my blog http://theregoesourhero.blogspot.com. I believe that my readers would enjoy any reply you would send back. I feel your creation is incomplete, but still taking shape. I look forward to checking back on the progress you make, and hopefully one day, I'll be able to direct people to your site as a resource I endorse.

Sincerely,
Alias Tagami

Hopefully she writes back. I hope I wasn't too harsh. I just felt that I need to speak as candidly about my concerns as she did with hers. Be cool and wrap your tool Space Travelers, there is no better way to be a better lover than to actively stay educated. Happy Valentines Day, and as a parting gift, some links.

CDC Statistics Center - Lot's of resources on reproductive health and STIs/STDs.

Natl' HIV & STD Testing Centers - Find one near you. Go get tested, and bring a friend.

vLog Unspecial 04: Religious Entitlement & Irony Purists

2010-02-12T12:25:00.000-08:00

vLog Unspecial 03: Synthetic Capitalism & Consumer Ethics

2010-02-11T11:50:00.000-08:00

Dearest Space Travelers, please do go easy on me. I haven't slept in over 24 hours. So if my thoughts don't transition very well in this vLog unspecial, I've got an excuse.

Note: I still have not ate the Reeses.

Single Thought #8

2010-02-11T10:54:00.001-08:00

If existence is a rental, I'm cool with that. I feel like we're all renting, but some of us are saving up for the house that is neither built nor for sale.

Chapter 29, Verse 2: Thaw

2010-02-08T06:17:00.000-08:00

Greetings Space Travelers from the heart of the Snopocolypse. President Obama perfers to call it Snomageddon, but I think he secretly likes Snobama (either way, I think this means somebody in his office reads twitter and briefs him). SnOMG appeals to my nerd background, but ultimately the b-boy in me has a sweet spot for the Snowtorious B.I.G. Anyways. All this snow got me inspired, and when inspiration strikes, it's like blizzard. Words, like snow flakes appear, but how much falls, and how much sticks in the end we just have to wait and watch.

We all want to be the snowflake that falls last.
We all want to be the one that lays on top,
and sparkles in the dusk light.

We all want to be situated on a perfect drift of snow,
far from the pedestrian foot path;
far from being trampled;
far from the the filth of the
shoes and tires
traveling fast
with no care to take in the beauty of a
picture perfect snow-scape.

We want to be untouched, and appreciated from a distance.

We don't want to be a part of someone else's design;
their half-assed snow man;
their snowball busted and melting against a warm car window.

We want to be emergent and beautiful,
and we want to be the
last
to
thaw.

Let it snow Space Travelers.

vLog Unspecial 02: Having Cake

2010-02-04T14:56:00.001-08:00

Oi Space Travlers, I've got a hankerin' for some cake. No I don't want to eat it, I plan to simply have cake. I think if you tried it, you'd find it rather enjoyable.

Chapter 29, Verse 1: On Cats and Closing Doors

2010-02-04T02:18:00.000-08:00

I was laying in bed Space Travelers, and a muse struck me. At this terrible hour, I crawled to my laptop and felt I had something to share. I'll soon return to my cozy bed, but first, this.

I raised a lot of animals when I was growing up. I had three cats, and they assumed three different characters: Little, fat and bad. They each had a very unique personality, and they would react to people in many different ways. Cats aren't really like dogs in that they don't really accept commands. Cats kind of do what they wish and certainly only what serves their (sometimes evil) agenda. I did learn one trick to manipulating a cat.
If I wanted a cat to go into a room, calling her and waving at her would never work. If I didn't prove to her that it was in her best interest to enter a room, she wouldn't. As a grew up, I noticed that if I closed the door very slowly, the cat would observe a dilemma and would always run to make it through the door at the last second (this is why we close the door slowly. No cat injuries...).I feel that life is often like this. So many doors slowly closing, and we unlike the cat sit in indecision. These doors often are new ideas, new experiences, and even the heart of another. Sometimes going through the door can be it's own reward. Free will is meaningless in stillness. We are alive when we move; when we exercise choice. I can't promise that every door you run through leads to happiness, but I know a lot of happy cats.

Meow Space Cats.

vLog Unspecial 01: Quit Playing on the Phone!

2010-01-14T11:59:00.000-08:00

So sometimes you have to just do Space Travelers.

You just have to make something and know it isn't perfect. Here goes. No edits. No cool transitions. I'm not even using my good camera. It's just me and my web cam with some extra time.

Strange and Mysterious Bullshit.

2010-01-14T10:37:00.000-08:00

Space Travelers, it's a story we all know. Tragedy strikes, be it natural or man made. Soon after, people flock in to weigh in what this "means."

People want to know why bad things happen in the world. They want to know why a god would either allow them to happen, or even perhaps make them happen. For me it's very clear: No god. For others, it's harder. They must reconcile so many conflicting concepts to protect the beliefs they hold dear. What torture.

No god did this. This tragedy is big enough without having to account for any gods that don't want to show up on gameday when humans are in REAL need.

But there are plenty of believers out there so wrought in cognitive dissonance that they think that a god lets us go through tragedy to make us stronger and so we survive. However, we don't all survive. Ask the Haitians. Many have already died. Many will die in the days to come, and they'll die hungry, alone, and scared.

There is no lesson from god here because there is no god. So while we wait looking for the lesson so we can feel better, it's ultimately just a means to advert our eyes from the real tragedy.

There is no lesson
There is no lesson
There is no spoon

The "strange and mysterious" line of reasoning used all to often by theist apologists.

In short: There is a reason a god holds out on us. It's for our good. If it doesn't make sense, it does to god, and that's what matters.

I say, weak sauce on that.

Holding out on us doesn't actually help us. We allow for this kind of illogical construction because we approximate it to our own experiences. You know... like falling off your bike when the training wheels come off, and dad lets it happen so you can pick yourself up? That's an analogy we like, but it's not fit with what we experience. If life is hard, like riding the bike and falling, then god isn't our father. Rather, gods are the training wheels, and we didn't learn to ride from our father, we learn from our neighbors who are trying to learn to ride their bike too.

Some theists resent the notion of blaming god, but accredit this to atheists. Only those who believe in a god can blame one. Similarly, there are those that see tragedies like Haiti, and blame... Haiti...

Watch at your own risk...

Sure Pat Robertson is just one guy, but he represents a focal point in the American religious landscape. His empire is built on supporters. That is the scary part. I struggle to separate his comments here the Westborogh Baptist Church's comments about the Tsunamis in the Thailand being a means of God to kill homosexuals. Am I the only one (surely not) to see that the only difference between the WBC and CBN is that CBN uses a powerful media platform to legitimize its bigotry?

When bad things happen, some blame god. It seems that there is another group of people, who sit on couches and write checks to CBN, who blame Haitians for the earthquake.

I think the idea that people blame god when things goes bad is a religiocentric concept. When things go wrong and people blame other things (or even themselves) they probably don't even get a blip on their radar, but when a god gets mentioned they spring to their feet and suddenly everyone is blaming god for everything...

Bless their heart Space Travelers, they only want to save me. But I'm still the heathen, who is a bobbin' and weavin'. Float like a butterfly effect, sting like the police (Rooooooxanne, you left the red light on, and our utility bills was high last month). I broke a stone, I bruised a brick, I'm so mean, I make medicine sick.

A last note. If you plan to donate to relief funds, make sure they are legit. I've been hearing about scammers on the news. How disgusting. Make sure your charity is vetted first.

Everything Special in the World

2009-12-22T13:51:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays Space Travelers. It's a special time of the year, no really. I'm not a Christian, but goddamn I love Christmas. In such a special time, I thought I'd take the time to talk about how special we are, and how sad I am that we abuse our gifts.

In the mid 90's, MTV aired a very odd show. It set a group of 7 individuals together in a house and had them live and work out their differences. It was the Real World, and so was born reality television. The world would never really be the same. Some may argue that reality television had much earlier roots, but I believe very few would deny the RW's mass appeal and huge audience made it a special case. Remember Pedro, the very likeable and friendly homosexual being brought into American households across the USA? For some it made things like HIV/AIDS a real thing, and something close and tragic. When he died, even then President Clinton spoke about it. Reality TV was more than entertainment, it was a vehicle for social awareness.

Mind you, this was prior to the explosion of the internet. For some, this was a window into the USA's many sub-cultures and personalities. Perhaps it is hard to think of a time where the ability to talk to a stranger in a different state was harder than just logging into a social networking site or forum. I can remember staying the night at a friends house and he said he was talking to someone in Australia. I asked the first question that came to mind: "how much does it cost?"

Can you blame my naivety? My wonder was simple. How amazing to talk to someone so far away! Now I'm grown, and much more worldly. I speak other languages, and I've met many people from many places. I've been exposed to many beliefs, and seen how many people express themselves in different ways. But I digress...

I'm not the only thing that has changed since then. Reality TV has changed too. And while I've become more worldly and broadened my horizons, reality TV has become more and more narrow. Today, what passes for reality TV is quite surreal, but perhaps more sad is what it costs in my opinion.

When I see the latest commercial for "sing off," a new show about acapella groups competing, I am very troubled. While it is certainly wonderful to see such amazing talents, why must we make everything some sort of contest? Would we appreciate these amazing things any less if we didn't have a winner?

Even love is a contest. So many reality shows about dating or marriage. Is there anything that could be considered more special? It makes me sad.

Space Travelers, I'd like to offer more than moral outrage here, so I guess I should make a suggestion. Share what you do. If you sing, sing for someone you know. If you write, share it with a friend. If you dance, go move your feet. We have lots of special things to share, and it seems we always wait to have an excuse to share them. I'm no different, but I want to be.

Egad!

2009-11-01T13:42:00.001-08:00

Jesus in toast? Pshaw. Einstein in frost! Science!

clipped from www.soulpancake.com

Single Thought #7

2009-10-21T15:19:00.000-07:00

When I think about all the things about myself that have changed, I think the most significant is that I no longer fantasize about living forever. I don't want or need eternity. Let me have 80 years, and let them be filled with family and friendship. Let me have just one blink of the eye; a cosmic wink with a smirk and I'll be satisfied.

Bumper Stickers

2009-10-09T08:55:00.001-07:00

Be well (John Spartan) Space Travelers. I was driving home today from work and I saw a bumper sticker, and its $3.00 message shook a thought loose in my head. The sticker read:

Teach Peace

I think it was meant to be understood to mean we should teach people HOW to be peaceful. I however took it differently. I thought about the way we teach history. I though about my middle school and high school history courses. The only way I can remember learning about two (or more) countries being in a related topic was in the context of war. sure the treaties at the end get a footnote at the end of the chapter, but overall, I think the focus of our history education has been about our struggles with each other, and not necessarily how we resolved them peacefully. I believe that what we choose to teach says something about what we value. Why not have coursework that examines the periods of our history in which we were more than just not fighting, but cooperating (for something other than war)? Do we think there is nothing to learn from those experiences? Can that history get a book too?

How we got along: A brief history

When does war get to go in the cliff notes? When does it stop being a casual topic? At what point, is it not spoken of in a matter-of-fact way? Why is it that peace is what creates "shock and awe?"

Today the Nobel Peace Prize was announced, and it went to President Obama. That's not what this post is about, but it's thematically relevant, so I might as well mention it. Some people are mad. Some people are very concerned with other people knowing how mad they are. How about this Space Travelers: Today, take 1 minute to think about a moment in your life where you rejected conflict and embraced a peaceful resolve.

Teach Peace, learn peace. Peace.

Tune in, Tune Out, Space Travelers

2009-10-01T09:33:00.000-07:00

Do I need to explain it again Space Travelers? On your way here, make sure to watch the X-Files. I think you'll get a kick out of it.

College Students Rule

2009-09-17T23:46:00.001-07:00

LOLWUT Space Travelers? Let's talk youth truth.

Some people think that the youth just don't care about the world, and that they only care every four years. The idea that they vote, and then think they've done their part. I'd have agreed in the past, but I think that something is different with the younger voters. I think we've been socialized to take interest in things differently. It seems like I'm constantly meeting 20 somethings who are doing amazing things and finding very creative ways to contribute. Beyond that, the explosion of social media networks has given them new platforms to get involved in the national dialog in very powerful ways.

Beyond Social media, main stream media has also been encouraging this generation to be interested in politics and current events. I think that the genius of people like Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert should not be taken for granted. American philosopher William James once said :

“Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds.

A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.”

So I find it very exciting to see students expressing themselves in a culturally familiar way and often with the grease of humor to move it along. It's been near a year since the election, and the youth still cares.

I'm pretty fucking proud. What can I say.

Shout out to the University of Maryland - College Park! Great rally, and kudos for leading the nation in your efforts to improve student health on your campus with your health insurance requirement.

New Blogs on the Hero Blog Roll

2009-09-16T00:55:00.000-07:00

Update Space Travelers!

I have added Lance's new blog into the blog roll. He's started fresh with a new spirit of creativity and artistic experimentation.

In addition to that, I have been offered to write on a feminist blog. This is either a very flattering offer that I could speak on such matters or a grand opportunity to illustrate exactly how poorly qualified I am. I've already made my introductory post. Hopefully, they chose the right guy for the woman's job.

vLog: Simple As That

2009-09-15T01:00:00.000-07:00

If I had not done it myself, I would not believe it either Space Travelers. That's right, after over 5 months the vLog is back! I didn't hold back on this one either.

Warning: The following video is rated P for gratuitous pizza dancing. Father's hide your daughters. And........ On!

Haiku Movie Review: Solace, Traitors, and Lies

2009-09-12T09:00:00.000-07:00

It's kind of a bummer to find out your idea isn't original Space Travelers. As it turns out, lots of people do Haiku Movie Reviews. I still like thee idea, and I figure I can contribute to the body of work in this budding poetic mock genre. However, I think it best to do three at a time. Having single posts about this is kind of cumbersome. Today's theme: Spies

Angsty british spy
Less than threatening end villain
James Bond is Jack Bauer

New type of story
Terror in first person view
Gritty dialog

Feels like real danger
Romance unnecessary
Good supporting cast

Chapter 28, Verse 0: Goathouse Reunion Preview

2009-09-11T22:24:00.001-07:00

I'm going to bed Space Travelers, but I wanted people to know that I started to covert my video from labor day weekend into .wmv files so I can edit them. Here's a little preview of my trip back to Missouri to visit the Goats.

Haiku Movie Review: Son of Rambow

2009-09-10T21:47:00.000-07:00

Space Travelers, I need to focus. Sometimes I get an idea in my head and I just want to create some random new project. This is a bad idea. Jon at the Ideoteria, is going to attempt to watch the top 100 films of all time. I hope for his sake that he does this quickly before any really good films come a log and fuck up his list. I don't plan on joining Jon in this quest, but I had an idea of my own. Since I consider myself a pretty well fed head when it comes to the cinema, and I've got lots of thoughts and movie suggestions. I've decided that I'm going to offer some movie suggestions/warnings/reviews in the form of haiku.

Introducing the "Haiku Movie Review!"

Little kids with film
Androgynous french hipster
Heart warming story

I was going to make this it's own blog, but I think I can just throw these in here when I can't think of something to write. Seems like a better use of webestate (<-- clever huh?) for me to focus my energies on my creative headquarters. Hope you enjoy this new feature.

Single Thought #6

2009-09-10T21:46:00.000-07:00

A single branch produces not a single leaf, but many.

Healthy Thoughts

2009-09-09T22:37:00.000-07:00

Oi, Space Travelers. I'm landed ans settled back in DC. I can type up more freely what I saw now that I'm not typing on my phone.

My flight left St. Louis at 8:45. I figured, I'd go early so I could make it through check in and security then find some place I could hear the speech. I figured there would be at least one place I could see the [joint session of Congress] speech [on health care reform]. Pleasantly to my surprise, every TV was on the speech and I found a gate which had no flights in or out and sat there (if for only less pedestrian traffic and noise).

I had my head fixed upward at the screen for most of the speech, but I had looked down on occasion to post on my Facebook wall my thoughts in real time. I can't remember the point of the speech I became aware of it, but the empty gate which I was sitting at had become full like a theater, and many people were now sitting fixed on the screen. Quiet. I looked in the terminal, and their were people just stopped, with their luggage, in no particular hurry to get home, or not wishing to miss this speech. I saw many anxious children ready to get home tugging on their parents arms. I saw people crying. I saw a few couples smiling, and a I received a few smiles directed at me when I not so silently cheered when Obama specifically spoke about the public option.

After the speech, the people began to move again, and I made my way to my own terminal. I got to my terminal as the republican response was aired. The people at the terminal watched, but I didn't see anybody stopping to listen.

I took in more of the speech, and was enthusiastically happy to hear three major things.

1) It will be illegal to deny coverage based on pre-existing conditions
2) Coverage will include preventative care measures
3) There must be a public option.

I was fond of other details, but these are what I find most important to me. Good work Obama. We needed you to be tough. I'd have liked you to have spoken earlier, but this was truly a brilliant address.

Full Speech Transcript Here

Letter From Ted Kennedy

Chapter 27, Verse 2: When Will We Get There?

2009-09-05T12:00:00.000-07:00

I promised that I'd tell more Space Travelers, and I mean to do just that. Today, you learn about my quarter-life crisis.
I can't remember who gave the quote, and I'm going to have to paraphrase anyways, but: "You're unhappy? They have a group for that. It's called EVERYONE"

EDIT: I found the original quote and remembered where I read it. It's Drew Carey and I read it on Amy's blog. "You say you're pissed off that life didn't turn out the way you wanted it to? There's a group for that. It's called 'Everybody.' They meet at the bar."

Well, I'm not really unhappy, but sadly dispelled.

Oh, and if you thought that this post was going to be more cool England shit, sorry. The connection is that I came to my conclusions on my quarter life crisis during my trip, so that's why it falls here. For your enjoyment, I did include pics of the lovely Ruth, and ever adventurous duo Taylor and Chi.
You must understand. It has not been easy for me to fit in. Imagine that. In my earlier years, it was being shy, but having a very active imagination. As I grew up and my communication skills developed, I began going through a very awkward stage of saying incomplete things. Some speech pathologists say that people who stutter simply fail to be able to speak at the speed they think. Well, I might have had a similar thing, only I just said parts of things. It sounded weird, but it's not really material to the story, so I'm going to just keep going... The point here is that by time I had learned how to properly communicate, I was at the age where our social hierarchy had began to harden. This made me a "fringe kid."

Being on the fringe meant meeting other all-star weirdos who were pretty cool. Everyone was truly unique and all struggled to fit in their own way. We became close. You know lunchroom politics? Well, we beat them... by not even eating in the lunchroom. One of those fringe kids was Taylor.

As the years went by, the molds that held these various social roles were loosened. In college, some people break out, and join the fringe. Other molds stand strong letting their contents harden more.

After college, more molds release and then fail to hold their shape. Yet more people on the fringe and what they long for is to be back in the mold where they think they made sense.

So here's my crisis; here is my dilemma. I just thought someday I'd fit in somewhere. I thought I'd arrive somewhere and when I got there, people would be magically awaiting me, smiling and they'd say:

"We've been waiting for you to get here."

I guess I've been holding out for some retribution; some good prize for staying who I am. I want my character to fit. Why must being free be lonely? Why can't we earn acceptance?

But I already knew the answer. I knew it the second I realized what my crisis was. The answer was and will always be those fringe kids. I have been accepted many times in my life. My journey has brought me to some of the most amazing and unique people. I've never found a place to take me in, but I can build on the little real estate we're given. Like the lunch room politics, we just ate in the hall, completely bypassing it. Now as an adult, I know the community I want, is one I have to build. It will not build itself. What I want in my life, is not waiting at some point in the future for me, but that is not to say I can't have it if I try.

If I want amazing friends, I don't wait for them to find me. When I want adventure and when I want to feel alive, I don't wait for an invitation.

I guess all the molds eventually crumble and everythign is reduced to the fringe. It's like the 2nd law of social dynamics. Some people just live there longer than the others.

I don't know when I'll be satisfied, I don't dare think what would be left if I knew.

Chapter 27, Verse 1: Where Are We Going?

2009-09-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

Wotcha Space Travelers! London's Calling, and I've paid a refuckingdiculous amount of money to have a mobile phone abroad. Note to self: Get prepaid next time.

I've spent the 4th of July the last two years in different curcumstances: Thee flight deck of a WWII aircraft carrier in San Diego, and last year in a massive city evacuation drill on the National Mall here in DC (Golly it's true. Arnest!).

This year, I satisfied my urge to just leave. No, not in a Sean Penn I'm-moving-to-Canada kind of leaving, but rather for the reasons of...

Okay, so I didn't have a reason, but I could. Okay? I did it because I could. This year I spent the 4th of July in England. Ironic as it may sound, it turned out to be one of the best ideas I've had in ages. Add to that, the presence of one Mr. Taylor Park, and it's an adventure.

Taylor added two important ingredients to the trip:

1) Poland - Neither of us speaks Polish, but Marta was going to be there and we knew we could make her our language slave for a few days.

2) Couch Surfing - An adventure in itself, we didn't stay in any hotels. Our hosts were indie posh students at Goldsmiths, a 60's Mod who used to get in fist fights with rockers (achievement unlocked), and Bollywood Art Directors. Our trip was meant to be memorable.

I had not left the USA since 2004, and that was only for a day trip across the border into Mexico (inside scoop: The ring I wear on my left hand was bought on that trip). Before that, I had gone on a study trip to Japan. That trip interestingly enough was also with Taylor.

I remember the day I bought the tickets. I remember because it was the day my passport expired. It had been almost exactly a decade since I first left the country. Like that first trip abroad, I hoped this trip too would be full of firsts and overwhelm my senses.

It's good to get out, see your world in the third person. It's good to be the outsider; not get all the jokes; struggle with the local vernacular. A unexpected thing I learned, is that push come to shove, we could out drink the British. I'm worried about what this says for our college system.

They say "Life is a journey." I say "Life is a journey, if you chose it." There is no passive adventure, only active quests. I can't hold out that someone else is going to just come a long and make my life what I want it to be, but more on that some other time.

Single Thought #5

2009-09-02T12:00:00.000-07:00

If hunger is your stomach telling you what you need, then heartache is hunger too.

Chapter 26: Families of Ours

2009-09-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

Happy retro post Space Travelers! It's May 2009, and I'm sending this blog entry into the future to offer a really lame excuse for not updating more frequently!

I'm here in Seattle for Western Kelrod's graduation! He just completed his M.S. in Game Design at Digipen, a school about making video games. He says it's a lot like Hogwarts with no chicks. I had no taken the time yet to come and visit, so I figured this would be a great time to come out to one of my favorite cities in the USA!

I'm not alone though. Kelly's family is here. A lively bunch they are. They are all young and excited about being together. I can't help but feel a certain longing when I'm around them. It's a peculiar desire. I want to be a part of it. Please, please, please let this become a sit-com, I'm so perfect for the role of witty neighbor.

I have a big personality. It can be proto-obnoxious if you don't get it, but it's not actually egocentric. There were many times when in large groups I'd find myself talking or telling stories and I became very self aware. These were Kelly's days to shine, and I didn't want to steal the spot light and embarrass myself. If I found myself talking too much, I'd retreat behind my laptop and be as quiet as a... something ultra fucking quiet. Kelly actually noticed. He talked to me about it and I explained how I was worried that I'd talk too much and how I was super proud of him and I didn't want to distract from anything. He said that people like my stories and that he was happy that I came. It didn't change how I felt, I tried my best to not speak as much over the rest of the time, or I'd try to only comment on the family's stories.

I guess the longing to belong in that loving family perhaps made me self conscious about what I do for affection and how I worry I'm perceived.
I grew up in a house where my family took others in, I certainly had other 2nd order homes, but mine was base; mine was prime; mine was the one above all others that the family only seemed to grow. I've been a part of letting others in, but I've never been a person to be let in myself. The Jacob's family, with there energy and excitement is hard not to covet and I wanted in, even if as the sit-com neighbor.

Alive Again

2009-08-31T19:04:00.000-07:00

I've been letting my brain stir lately Space Travelers. I've been asking myself why I haven't been writing? Where has my desire gone?

Perhaps I've been flirting a little too close to Web 3.0 standards of internet experience and I just haven't brought anything new to the table. Perhaps I've been spending time on other forums writing my ideas or commenting on other people's thoughts. It just wont do. I am now at full computer capacity again save for the fact I can't use my old Photoshop install anymore on my new computer. Other than that, I've lost bit of data, or it would seem. There is missing video on my memory cards that for whatever reason, won't come off. I've let this hang up stop me from updating for too long and I can't let what happened to the blog happen again. It's easy to let a blog die when everything doesn't go "just" right. It's too easy to get over concerned with little thematic details and not publish until every little detail is right. This is an error. I knew it then. I know now. Just write and let it be imperfect. We hardly celebrated our 5000 hits Space Travelers. Thanks for reading, and I promise, I still have plenty of stories to come.

Glorious Return* (*results may vary)

2009-07-24T10:40:00.000-07:00

Sup Space Travlers. I've got a lot of work to do, but I do have good news.

I am no longer using the spare computer. The old robot died... permanently. I was sad, but I have a new robot employee. This one has a pretty good resume. This means that my photos and videos are not trapped on my camera anymore. I should be able to resume my super blog hero quest in the near future.

I've got a lot of adventures planned out for the future brothers and sisters (saying "brothers and sisters" always sounds like cult speak doesn't it?), and I can't wait to tell you all about them. Lots of ideas to share and stories to be told.

In other news, I'm about to become a motorcyclist or as Socrates called it: A "Motorcycler." My classes are next weekend, and I've already secured myself a good beginner bike.

EDIT: HERE IS THE CORRECT MOTORCYCLE

Photos From Englishland

2009-07-05T20:01:00.001-07:00

Good evening Space Travelers, wherever you are. The robot is still broken, so I haven't been able to prep the blog with words about the trip to England. I'm here, and I'm with Space Traveler Taylor Park. Without too much delay, here's the breakdown.

Our trip is a couch surfing trip. During this part of our trip we have stayed with people from a forum I've been posting on for the last 3 years.

We spent a while in Airport-town, and then got on the London Underground which was very stubborn about staying sub-terrianian. From the left to right: Ruth, Taylor, and then myself.
Chatting on the wobbly bridge over the the River Thames after going to the Tate Modern.
Taylor Park and this Large Benjamin fellow. Note: Big Ben is not the clock, it is the large bell inside.
We brought sunshine. How kind of us. Bazza thanked us for getting him out in the sun. Bazza told us stories about the 60s and being a Mod in London. This guy used to sport a jacket and get in fist fights with rockers.
Ruth on a spendid evening in Greenwich after a (very) proper english meal at the Spread Eagle.

More pictures are on their way Space Travelers. Live and love big time. Back to adventure.

Dead Robot

2009-05-28T22:50:00.000-07:00

Hey update Space Travellers: My Laptop is out of commission, so no updates for the last week or for the next week probably. I can't edit vLogs or upload pictures for the time being. ASUS customer support is getting a nasty phone call tomorrow.

Stay tuned.

Who Needs a Title?

2009-05-18T06:17:00.001-07:00

I can't find it Space Travelers! I can't find my car title! I've searched all of the boxes that I never planned on unpacking, I've searched my car, I've searched my desk! It is not to be found on this Monday or any other Monday for that matter. I don't even want to find it but I need to if I'm going to get license plates in Virginia. My plates expire this month. While searching for it though, I found a few things of interest:

-A note from the custodian in my last residence hall
-A box of love letters written to me
-Childhood photos
-Eyeglass repair kit
-Lock-picking gear
-The "California or Bust" sign I taped in my car window on my roadtrip
-Condoms
-A credit card
-A bunch of software
-My laptop's warranty

The last one is particularly useful right now because I'm having a shit of a time with my computer. I think my video card is dying and some other stuff is acting nasty too.

In other news, I purchased a round trip to England from July 3rd to July 15th. This means I'll celebrate our independence from the British... with the British. I'm going to a pub on the 4th, and I won't return until someone has kicked my ass. Promise. To continue with the current theme of being all around kind of disorganized, I realized that my passport expired... today. I went online to print out the form and when I tried to print it out, I couldn't because I had not reinstalled my printer since my fresh install of windows from two day prior. In the process of installing the drivers, I got blue screened.

FFFFFFUUUUU

Well, that's the news. I have no real plan on the England thing, but I'm figuring it out. Editing has been put on hold until I fix the computer. It's acting like a "piece of shit," but who needs a title?

Coffee and TV

2009-05-11T11:27:00.000-07:00

Buenos Dias Space Travelers. I see that there are new know space travelers following the blog. I'm glad to have your readership and as I'm looking to expand my little inter-niche here, I'm thinking to the future. I still am editing vLogs for NYC, Miami, DC, and Seattle. I know I say that a lot, but it's true. It's hard to do this while I'm traveling, but if I didn't travel, what would I be filming anyways. We're soon approaching a the one year anniversary of the vLogs. I'm hoping I can do something for that as well.

While I was in Seattle with Space Traveler Kelroy, I had a few discussions about the blog, the vLog and what is next for this place. When I started, I originally wanted to do something more on the Ze Frank side of vLogging, but it didn't feel right. Since then, I've been just filming and learning the art of the camera (my kung-fu is good) and hoping that I'd eventually figure out what I wanted to do. So Kelroy and I were sitting in a coffee shop and I think I got my idea finally.

Stay tuned Space Travelers. More to come.

Also, if you are a fan of reading backwards, I have updated the labels in the sidebar to a drop down menu for ease of searching. Stay cool.

5000 Hits!

2009-05-03T22:28:00.000-07:00

Oh wow Space Travelers! 5000 hits! This is the web equivalent of turning 16. The site is still young, but it's been around long enough to do some new things. I'm glad for all those who have left comments over the years. I hope that I can offer more in the future.

Thank you Space Travelers!

A Cheers From a Forgotten Blog

2009-05-01T18:27:00.000-07:00

Greetings from Seattle Space Travelers. I wrote this on a old blog from some 4 years ago. I wrote it the evening I turned 22. A couple weeks ago I turned 26. I thought I would seek out and find it then repost it for everyone here.

A Cheers

Now at 22,
looking back
I see that my training wheels are off
and that I am finally a part of life.
So to those
who helped me
I give you
cheers.

To Jeremy’s departure.
If you had not left
I would have latched on to you
forever.

To the kids with razor tongues and spiteful eyes.
Not envy,
just destruction.
Because you made me
Hate you
and love
me.

To Smarts.
For making me survive
jealous love
Yet still laugh at all my
Desperate jokes.

To Kathy.
The first lamb
I
ever thought
I could
marry.

To Jose.
Because
you became family
and truly my
brother.

To Taylor.
A partner in crime,
A madman with
cap and a camera.
We could have been rivals,
We choose to be best friends.
Don’t ever quit.

To Corinne.
You told me
to do what ever it takes
to make myself free.
And I’ve been doing my best.
I’m glad you can swim
in the stardust
and sleep in peace

To the kids with shining wheels and the girls with the tight sweaters.
Fuck you.

To Steph.
For imagination.
For respect.
For love.

To countless teachers and counselors.
For not believing in me.
For the patience they denied.
For my time they took.
For every “F.”
I’ll still win without you.

To Sensei.
For commanding my respect
in my youth.
Not an easy task.
Thank
You.

To Dr. Toste.
Never my teacher,
just a grumpy old man
Never afraid to remind me
That I was just
another
asshole kid
dancing like jackass
on the paper thin stage of
life.
Thank you,
And I’m sorry,
Pot-luck means bring something,
I’ll never forget again.

To Meagan.
For innocence
For focus.
For near death.

To the bird.
For shitting on my car.
Or at least trying

To Dr. Fannin.
For exercising no compassion
For a 2ft yard stick.
Yeah,
fuck you too.

To every genius I encounter.
For keeping me sober and humble.
Because
I could be just like you.
But my dunce cap
keeps me warm

To Mother,
For the leather skin,
For the weapon of reason,
For the weapon of forgiveness.
I wield them well
And
Do great harm.

To Ismael,
You wanted me to be; to exist.
Thank you
for your
prayers.

To Junior Flores.
For training my ears
to the tune
of a sweet and low tongue
that speaks only artificial sweetener.
Still a donkey
with his
carrot in the mud

To Senior Flores.
For training my heart
To speak.
For poems.
For songs.
For something human.
Check me out.

To Maia.
To a hero.
My sister
and
most loyal fan

To boys with hungry mouths and loose zippers.
Because they never taste life,
And their zippers will eventually rust.

To Father,
For a legacy,
For pride,
For compassion,
For real masculinity,
For strength.
I’ll never cut my hair.
I’ll never say die.

Kanpai. (Cheers.)

New Addition to the Hero Blog Roll

2009-04-29T15:28:00.000-07:00

Space Travelers, I have an update. I have been invited to blog on a new blog! I have added it to the blog roll on the right tool bar. I will be doing the design and layout for that blog too, so that should be fun.

I present:

The Ideoteria

The new blog is much like this one in terms of sharing new ideas, but it has multiple authors. I plan to expand my blogging experience by using that blog (as opposed to this one or the Goathouse Blog) to write more controversial entries about social, cultural and political topics. Those topics, I've been a little hands off for this blog, because I didn't want to turn anyone off.

Anyways, this is a new addition to the network of blogs I view. The other contributors will figure out what they want to contribute and I think it will be pretty cool. One of the contributors is Tori. She is already in my blog roll, and is a wonderful writer. So if you have ever wandered off to her writing, you may enjoy this new place as well.

Single Thought #4

2009-04-29T12:28:00.000-07:00

What if we all get infected with some meme that guides us to happiness? Mnemonic Pneumonia. Oh virus inspire us.

Chapter 25, Verse 2: Sneaker Pimp

2009-04-23T16:25:00.001-07:00

Good evening Space Travelers. I just got back from New York, and since my birthday was on Saturday, I decided to give myself something I've wanted for a very long time: My own custom designed pair of Adidas. This has been something I've dreamed about since my days as a b-boy and if you know me, then you know I love my sneakers.

So here they are. I must have worked on the design for hours. The photo isn't that great, but that's because I'm trying to take a photo of a really glossy screen. They didn't allow for photos in the store, so I had to be quick.

READY JET!

I actually choose the color scheme based on this blog! I'm a big fan of the RGB on black aesthetic. While you can't tell from the photo, there is green embroidery on the side of the shoe. It reads: "READY JET." They will be here in 4 weeks. I'll post action shots once I have them.

Thanks to all Space Travelers that have been with me for another year.

Single Thought #3

2009-04-14T07:42:00.000-07:00

If love is the trophy, what is the gamut? We're either running out of trophies or the modern gamut industry is in a romance recession and can't pay out.

Trying My Hardest.

2009-04-09T18:46:00.000-07:00

With the invention of the revolving door and the automatic door, people can less and less have the chance to hold the door for someone. Hell, we used to be able to practice courtesy just by rewinding our VHS before returning them to the rental store. Eventually our cars will drive themselves, and computers will control everything. Although, this will make traffic obsolete, I think I'll miss the look of thanks and relief I get when I let someone change lanes. A brief relationship certainly, but one without an agenda. It's just a quick gesture, and a glance in their mirror.

I love technology, but we're losing opportunities to be kind to our fellow citizen.

Some Beautiful Weirdo

2009-04-09T09:40:00.000-07:00

Beloved Space Travelers, I have done some thinking about romance. I think perhaps it will again happen to me someday. I wonder how?...

Someday, I'll hit some beautiful weirdo with my car.
It will break her arm.
She'll fall in love with me on the ride to the hospital.
I'll bring her flowers.
One day near after, she'll put a band-aid on my bumper,
with her phone number on it.

That's how it will happen.

Brush your teeth and keep your hearts warm. It's Spring! Go be alive!

I Fo Folemly Fwear

2009-04-07T21:48:00.000-07:00

Don't Panic Space Travelers. This all makes sense in bizzaro earth were we all have mustaches.

I'm going backpacking in Santiago
Canada is a little town in Santiago
They only use sporks to eat
it's really dry there so
bring a towel
the game stadium in the heart of little Canada
Canada is of course the second largest city in Santiago
Did you know that most of our bread comes from Santiago?
I bet you know that if you eat pizza
Pizza is basically bread with ketchup on top and hot dogs
it's from Santiago's capital: Germany!
nope I'm sober as a printer
not a drop in me
I'm dry as the moon
top of my class in geography
I got a W in the class
Teacher's pet
I brought her a banana and put it on her desk
She'd drink down the banana and during recess
I'd pay on the tennis field
afterwards, it was juice time
so I got some milk and ate it
got home from school and laid down on the toilet
went fishing with my dad and caught a sparrow
he said that someday we'd go to Canada
and I might catch a seagull

Warning Space Travelers. When you learn something about the world that you thought was totally opposite about, it can make you loose your bearings.

All Is Not

2009-04-05T20:06:00.000-07:00

Our Obligation: To forget fairness,
In war, in love, unless we: The victors.

Embarrassingly employing the most ironic of methods:
Mouthing and Muttering over and over what we know is false,
Ad nauseum, we purchase the pitiful lie we sell ourselves.

Never challenging the wise with the wisdom we aren't supposed to have.
Or want. Or care about. Be about.
Believe as I do, doing more than just accepting the convention: A duty.

Free to fashion the contrarian's clothes.
If you like the look, you can tailor them in time.
Dare to ignite and inspire some overdue discomfort,
Achieve amorous adoration for your audacity.

All was never fair in love and war.
Too many lost wars, lost lovers.
Yet, our response: recite the lie; repeat.
A chorus for cowards too afraid to just ask for what they deserve:

A whole world.
An ethical earth.

Be furious, we deserve it. Please, purge.
Mourn, but make sober self. Resolve.

It is the war we wage, unwillingly.
It is our love we labor, and loses its color in patience.
Help us, that our hurt is humanized, honored.

Fair in love and war, all is NOT
Error, an excuse from equity

Good evening Space Travelers. I was reading back in the blog, and realized I haven't been doing too much original writing lately. I was driving home from work today when it occurred to me how bullshit the old saying "all is fair in love and war" actually is. The author of such tripe I'm sure would find no difficulty in elaborating on the injustice they endure given the right war or given the wrong love. It seemed to me that the only reason we feed into this meme is that it insulates us from the greater challenge of compassion. We are not entitled shelter from the discomfort of seeing our fellow man dragged in loss.

This is not the way of the world I want for myself or you.

LOST Chapter 24, Verse 4: Where Were You Part 2

2009-04-03T21:08:00.000-07:00

And now, the exciting conclusion Space Travelers. Thanks for your patience.

LOST Chapter 24, Verse 3: Where Were You Part 1

2009-04-02T10:00:00.000-07:00

It took me a while Space Travelers, but I'm actually doing it. Stay patient, and know that the vLogs are on their way. More to come soon, but today here is the first of two from back in January.

Single Thought #2

2009-04-02T00:09:00.000-07:00

I get tired of the game. Too much history, not enough experience. Too much awe, and not enough magic in the world.

C.R.E.A.M. Get the Money, Dollar Dollar Bill... Yall

2009-03-31T00:32:00.000-07:00

Hey Space Travelers. I've been doing a lot of photography project as of late. They are quick and rewarding, and much easier to do than the vLogs I've promised... So I'll try and work on that, but here is some photos in the mean time.
Wu-Tang!

S.E.I. - Social Enjoyment Index

2009-03-17T21:26:00.000-07:00

So I've been crazy busy lately Space Travelers. I have like 3 back vlogs to deliver, but trust that they are in the works.

Inauguration
New York
Miami

But until then, I thought I'd share something that I've been using over the last few months. It's a system to describe my evenings. I call it the SEI, or "Social Enjoyment Index." As it is right now, the system is in its second order with the potential for additional dimensions to be added. In computer programming terms it would be a 2 dimensional array.

First dimension: People I'm with that I don't work with.

This one is easy. Take the number of people I interact with in the evening, and subtract those that I work with. This is not to say that I don't enjoy my coworkers, but the SEI ultimately gives a score of how well an evening can lead to future evenings. Having an evening with many people from outside of work is good because it opens up for the possibility of meeting even more people in the future. Can you dig it?

So as I said, the first is a number. The number can be from 0 to about 6 billion.

Second Dimension: Percentage of Opposite Sex.

This is a graded scale "A" through "F." For convenience, I will be describing this from my standpoint, which is a man looking for a woman. All values are approximate.

F - No females (dudefest)
E - 20% female (commonly known as the sausage party)
D - 40% female (for ease, simply go with less than half)
C - 60% female (for ease, simply go with greater than half)
B - 80% female (are you doing volunteer work again?)
A - All females (still not convinced this scenario exists)

Note: If you're gay, this would not mean the opposite sex, but rather the quotient of other gay people in attendance. If you are bisexual, this means... Well, I guess everyone is game... So you must always have an "A."

So some examples may help.

19D - A party with 19 people you don't work with with just under half the attendance being female.
1.8MillionC - Going to the National Mall on Inauguration
1A - A date
3F - Hanging out with my roommates in the apartment.

What's important here Space Travelers, is to not get confused into thinking that this scale measures how much someone enjoys themselves, but rather the opportunity for expanding one's social market. For instance, I can have a crappy date (1A) but have a great time with my roommates just chilling in the apartment (3F).

Well, at least you'll know what I'm talking about if I use this in the future. If I add any higher orders on I will repost this.

Single Thought #1

2009-03-06T15:56:00.000-08:00

What can I say, even if you're the pain in my neck, thanks for rubbing it.

Preview: What is an SEI?

2009-02-17T17:28:00.000-08:00

What is an SEI Space Travelers? Clue: It's similar to the very important ICEE.

Big things in the works. I've got a lot of footage from inauguration and from my recent trip to New York. So I have at least two vlogs on the way.

Chapter 25, Verse 1: New York Adventure In The Only City That Matters So I Hear

2009-02-13T00:18:00.000-08:00

Space Travelers, I have a question. It's not uncommon for me to meet a new yorker here in DC, and it's also not uncommon for a new yorker to talk about New York. I experienced the same thing with Los Angeles. The mentality is this: New York is the only city in the world. If no that specifically, it's just that it is just more important, and by transitive properties, THEY are also more important. Being that I'm from the Midwest, I get some fairly odd comments about Missouri or any of the "fly-over" states.

"Wow, you speak so well!" "Did you like... um... grow up on a farm?"

This is of course ironic because this low class understanding of something different is being espoused by those claiming to be more upper class and enlightened. I'm briefly reminded of politics and geography. I'm a progressive, yet I feel like I can relate with many rural conservatives in the way they perceive these large urban centers. I share their feelings of being culturally obscure. I am forced to blush a little guilt out for those times I put down "red necks" but honestly they are people too. It's a shallowness in my character, I'd like to be absolved of honestly. How we view each other is often tinted with the filter of insecurity. I found so many of the people in beautiful California to be dull and boring despite their effort to be culturally in tune via osmosis.

Today, the roommates and I are packing up our belongings, and going to New York for the weekend. I suspect, that despite the claims of my new yorker friends, that it is in fact just a city. I'm not playing down the fact that it will probably have a distinct character, but lots of cities have character.

We will be staying right near Penn Station, and are close to lots of things. I'll be uploading pics multiple times a day to my snaplog account, so keep an eye out for updates. As always, I will have my trusty camera Sunny with me. I'm hoping to get some cool footage.

So, after all of that, here is my question: In modern society, does a center of the world exist, and if so, where is it?

Peace and thanks for reading Space Travelers,
~Chi

vLog: The Long Trek Home

2009-01-27T19:37:00.000-08:00

Dearest Travelers of space, I've got a fever. There is but a single cure. Yes the local town alchemist and pharmacist has made my prescription, and it is to hear the angelic tune of the bovine bell.

I never thought of myself as a person with ADD or ADHD, but after compiling the footage for this next vLog, I think I'm forced to consider the possibility. To be fair to myself, I had been awake for some ridiculous amount of time. No excuses Space Travelers, I know you expect better from me.

Hocus pocus, wham, bam, shazam!

I've still got more coming too! If you want to do me a favor, check out my Youtube Channel and check out the style updates I made there (click on the sidebar -->).

Peace.

vLog: Home on the Range

2009-01-26T10:41:00.000-08:00

Hola Space Travelers! I am sorting through all of my unedited footage from the tail end of last year so that I might be able to offer something fun to you all. I found some really great video of fellow Hero Taylor Park and myself on a weird adventure in our hometown of Springfield, MO.

Submitted to be fitted, watch and enjoy but don't play coy. Light's, camera, action, no matter what's your faction. Please turn off your cell phones, and turn on your imagination.

We're going home, home on the range...

Peace out Space Travelers, and know that more is on the way.
~Chi

Chapter 24, Verse 2: History Hangover

2009-01-21T12:23:00.000-08:00

Opps! Dear Space Travelers, I forgot to post up my election night adventure last month like I promised. So I'll post it now. Appropriate I suppose, since today is Obama's first full day as President.

Super vLog attack power up!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

I went to innogoration and I have lots of cool video. I'll be working today to get that video out soon.

Chapter 24, Verse 1: The Bomb Before the Storm

2009-01-19T21:02:00.000-08:00

Regime change Space Travelers! Don't fire ze Missles! I saw Cobert's famous recursive ego portrait in the Smithsonian today. Obama is on his way to a new home... W is out, O is in. Consider yourself on notice Mr. President, the other 24 letters in the alphabet want to know when it's their turn...

I'll be braving the crowd to get to the National Mall for the inauguration. I want people to see what I see, so I DL'd this really cool app called "Snaplog Photo Blogger." This lets me take a photo then immediately upload it to a server so others can see it.

I set up a domain for myself HERE (<-- click) and you can check it throughout the day to get some visuals from here in the capitol city.

Apparently, I'll eventually be able to embed some sort of window in the blog so you'd just see it there, but I didn't see how to do that on the website. Until then, you just need to click the link and enjoy!

Peace.

New Hardware!

2009-01-12T10:49:00.000-08:00

Good afternoon Space Travelers! I made a very proud purchase today. I got some camera accessories for Sunny (my camera). They are as follows...

A Wide Angle Lens

A Fish Eye Lens

A U/V Filter

A Polarized Filter

A Fluorescent Filter

I'm very pleased, and with inauguration on the horizon, I'm hoping to get some good photos.

Say "shrine!"

Chapter 23, Verse 1: Party Like it's Twenty-Zero-Nine

2008-12-31T06:39:00.000-08:00

May I clarify something Space Travelers? When Prince so famously sang the iconic "party like it's 1999" he set a really high bar for festivities in the closing days of the last millennium. I mean, don't get me wrong, I did some great things in 99, but I think 2002 ended up being the year I give the bouquet to.

I don't know what adventures Twenty-zero-nine has in wait for me, but here's best wishes to big ones. Currently, I'm working on trips to Chicago, England, and a river adventure down the Mississippi River. Other projects include another blog (to be revealed in the future) and learning guitar so that come summer, I can sit in my apartment's window and play into the alley.

I can't say I have any new year's resolutions. I had so many things I wanted to work on that I recognized last year, so I didn't wait for 2009.

We put such a high premium on new year resolutions as if they have a greater chance of fruition or mean more than any other self motivated change made on any other date. By this logic a resolution made on leap year would be even more special and guaranteed to be successful. Something similar happens on birthdays. We take one day to celebrate the lives of those we care for when we could be celebrating each other's lives any day (or every day for that matter).

Well, here's to 2009 anyways I suppose. May it be better than 2008, let it be worse than 2010. Let me be better now, but never my best (I'll always need something to be working toward right?). Here's to new love, new friends, brothers, sisters, and the first time I write the date and forget to write "09."

Here's to adventure.
Here's to Space Travelers.
Here's to heroes both sung and unsung.

Here we go.

Ice your heads and I hope all Space Travelers had a great night. End transmission.

LOST Chapter 18, Verse 10: What's in a Name?

2008-12-30T06:15:00.000-08:00

As I leave 2008 behind Space Travelers, I leave behind the era that was college. After 7 years in my undergraduate, I find myself now here in Northern Virginia. I shed my skin, and a new me is present.

countdown: (post grad) 3 days 15 hours 15 minutes

MEMORY 10: What's in a name?

When I was young I didn't know my proper name. Not at least until I was 15. The circumstances of this revolve around my parents having a spelling discrepancy on my birth certificate and my social security card.

One read: Alias Seichi Tagami
The other: Alai Seiichi Tagami

The day that I went to get my driver's learner permit, I saw my birth certificate for the first time. I immediately notices the spelling of my names. Needless to say, that evening, I had words with my parents...

I decided on a hybrid of those two names: Alias Seiichi Tagami

I went by this for years. But mostly, my friends and family just called me "Seich" for short.

When I first arrived at my school, I decided to change my name. Or at least change the name I go by. I had some weird fixation on the idea that my identity was bound to my name and that Seiichi was someone who let others walk on him, and that I needed to reinvent myself.

The first attempt at a new identity was to take my first name Alias, and shorten it to just "Ali." I didn't work. I just couldn't do it naturally. It was too forced. I was simply trying too hard to do the whole reinvention thing.

One of my early college friends I met had a really hard time pronouncing my name. I told her that "Seiichi" is just like "Say Chi". So she just started calling me Chi. I liked it. I kept it.

What I didn't realize then, that is so clear to me now, was that my desire to be somebody new was not something I needed to try so hard for. It was inevitable. The acquisition of a new name was just ironic.

I was named by my Great Grandfather Ikeda. He came from Japan at the turn of the 20th century at the tender age of 16. His ship came into the San Fransisco Bay on April 18th 1906, the day of the great quake. I like to joke that as the fog cleared and he saw a city in flames that he quickly pulled out his brochure and began to complain. The ship would be leave the bay. It landed and My grandfather began to farm in the Salinas Valley.

His family grew and he eventually even bought land. It was a great success for an immigrant.

He gave me my middle name; the primary name I would go by. The name means "Sincerest first born."

Sei - Sincerity
Ichi - 1 (yes, like the number.)

Number names are not uncommon in Asian cultures, and usually symbolize some statue in the family. For me, it was that I am the bearer of name. Only I can carry on the family name, and culture.

(I imagine your wondering how I plan to tie this back into college. I would too. I'm trying to figure it out. Be patient with me. I know where I'm going... I think)

My first name Alias/Alai was a creation by my parents from the word "ally." This was largely due to the fact that racial tension between my families was ended when I was born. My birth granted both sides of my family the perspective needed to come to terms. Hence, I was the bridge; the "ally." I guess they didn't like the spelling or something... Wither way that's the etymology behind those two.

So here I was at college looking for a new identity, a new purpose, a new creed. I think then that it is interesting my new identity was to become a community builder, mentor and student advocate. Interesting because there in the name was the "sincere friend."

I chose my Mentor in my job as an Resident Assistant. We are very close. She challenged me to make a legacy. Every year, at the closing banquet she would close with...

"Live, love, leave a legacy."

I slowly began to understand what a legacy really was. I was not people remembering what your name was, and what you did. It was instead making long lasting changes around you that went beyond your time.

In my weekly lunches with my Mentor, she told me that she was proud of the legacy I had left at the school. I asked her what she thought my legacy was, and she said that her department would fail without the students leading each other. She thanked me for staying involved, and explained how many students I had introduced to student advocacy. She thanked me for being passionate about what I did. She acknowledged the struggle I had through college, and told me that I had I not chosen to engage face first many of those challenges I that I would not have grown into the man I was.

I arrived at graduation an hour before the ceremony. I looked around at the sea of graduates. We were handed a card with our name on it. We were supposed to write out the pronunciation of our name.

Oh brother.

I wrote: Aa-lie-us Say-ee-chee Taa-gaa-mee

I knew it would get butchered. I knew this because of every class and every teacher I have ever had in my entire academic life. I held my card and thought about that fact. That on the first day of every class, I had to speak up and say more than just "here."

As I walked up to the stage, I handed the speaker the card. There was a long pause... then a awkward attempt at my name, then a apologetic shrug. I shrugged back and made my way across the stage. As I shook the hand of the Chancellor, he said "close enough?"

I replied "It's not my name that should be remembered."

I don't believe that because my Great Grandfather gave me my name that I fulfilled any sort of duty, or calling. I don't believe that my name defines me at all. I am proud to be defined by my actions.

No longer addressed by the same name, no longer clothed in the uniform of my youth, I am starting a new life for myself. However you know me...

Seich
Sei
Seiichi
Chi
Alias

...I hope you know me.

LOST Chapter 18, Verse 9: Hero no Maru

2008-12-28T06:09:00.000-08:00

There is something a bit recursive about this memory Space Travelers. This memory is about the trip which inspired this blog to even exist in the first place. Like some trips, we now end back up where we began.

countdown: 8 hours 44 minutes

MEMORY #9: Hero no Maru

In my second year in college I began becoming more professionally oriented. I began to care about having a career and I started working on my resume. I remember how my environment made me feel like having an internship was important. More than than important, it felt like it was necessary.

I felt weird that I didn't have a summer internship. I decided to work harder in my junior year.

I began early by attending some programs put on by the career center at my campus. They made it seem easy. The entire thing was odd because in the engineering community, we are constantly being told this line about how important we are and how jobs come to us. To me it was all odd and I didn't really realize what was happening to me.

By second semester I had not had an interview and I was becoming very depressed. I had really applied myself and been extremely disciplined. So by April, it was obvious I would not have an internship.

I needed something to feel that void. So I left. I just got into my car, and I drove. My road trip in total was 7,000 miles over two months. There is something very liberating about being on your own. I had lots of time to think. Heal.

I was in San Diego. A friend had invited me to a birthday party. I didn't really know anybody. I remember being approached by some very...

uh...

Californian people. Californian youth at least. Out of high school, but still younger than me. Beautiful people. Nicely tan. They seemed interested in me. I was a new person in their circle, so I stood out. I was dressed a lot nicer than normal that night. I could almost blend in.

They were very interested in what I did. Not in Engineering though, just about how much money I would make. They very very certain that I belonged on the west coast, and that I'd need to find a job out there. I said how much I liked the area and mentioned that I had family in the area. However I followed that with how I liked some companies for the projects they worked on. When I told then the cites I'd be in they seemed to turn their nose up at the thought of living in the midwest.

a "fly-over" state

I replied, "Yeah I guess our job is to just make the food. I guess I'm out of place."

I thanked my friend for inviting me, and left. As I left, I was still disgusted by these superficial plastic materialist people.

Then I remembered how I had become so obsessed with some job goal. A goal I didn't even set for myself. It was set for me. I did want a job, but for the experience, the skills. The casualty of this obsession was that I became sadly aware of two truths.

1) I didn't have a single goal in my like that didn't have something to do a with a career.

2) I had stopped doing the things I loved to become a professional.

I spent the second half of my trip just soaking in the beauty of the Pacific northwest. As I drove back east, I remember sleeping on the side of the road in Montana, only to wake up to the most majestic sunrise. It was just for me.

No cars.
No people.

I think the sunset gets all the glory, but sometimes a sunrise can be breathtaking.

It's honestly a shame I'm not a morning person, and it's too common that if I see the sunrise, I'm stuck i a building.

Now I make new goals for myself. I let myself wander. I dream again of new adventures.

Being professional is the just a hobby now. My real occupation is being spectacular.

When I wrote this, I guess I didn't know how true the part about the hobby was. The spectacular part is still a work in progress though.

LOST Chapter 18, Verse 8: Late Nights

2008-12-26T06:04:00.000-08:00

Konnichiwa Supesu no hitotachi! Ikeyo ne?

countdown: 1 day 6 hours 28 minutes

MEMORY #8: Late nights

I've had many late nights in my college career. However, too few due to late night liaisons. No. Instead I have spent a many nights up late compiling computer code while posting on forums such as A2K and my community blog. I've probably had more sit down meals at restaurants at 3:00 AM than I have had during the hours of civilized society.

However some nights, I'm not awake for any real reason. I sit, and wait. Wait for something amazing to happen. I will wander outside and listen to the silence. No cars, no people. I hope to be the only person to see or experience something special. It rarely happens, but that's fine. If it happened every time, it wouldn't be special.

When the birds start singing, I know it's bedtime. For the sake of pride, I often dive under the covers if I sense a sunrise coming.

Does it really matter what burns the midnight oil?

LOST Chapter 18, Verse 7: Losing the Fight Against the Tank

2008-12-24T05:48:00.000-08:00

Dear Space Travelers, I had an epiphany today. I can submit all these LOST post right now and have them timed to post at a certain time. This means that I can actually work ahead on the schedule. I'm not the most punctual person in the world, so the notion of being early with posts is kind of an alien one.

So here's the deal, I'm going to post up the last four LOST chapters and set them to post over the next few days. I decided I want to be finished with this part before New Years. I think I should do something special for that. Until then, here's another in the graduation series.

countdown: 3 days 9 hours 8 minutes

MEMORY #7: Losing the Fight Against the Tank

Through high school I was a tobacco educator in a student led program. We would go to local elementary schools and present to 5th graders about the dangers of smoking. In addition to that we would field question about middle school and high school in general. It was something I was very passionate about.

During my two years at my community college, I felt like something was missing, and that desire to get involved is probably what encouraged me to become so active on my university upon arrival.

I put on programming at our school which was need based, and much of what I did was related to wellness education. Later, I joined a group on campus which was specifically designed to address student needs in wellness education.

We were the campus source for said programming. This was more than just an organization though. We were paid for our work and were expected to stay updated on related topics.

We stayed informed because often we would have to field questions related to delicate topics. Examples included unplanned pregnancy, new medications like Gardisil, date rape, and depression (or other mental health related topics).

One of the specific service we provided was related to many of the campus greek houses. Many houses must complete some sort of educational programming to keep their charter. While some houses are enthusiastic about various programming, others seem to try and scrape by with doing just the minimum.

The day of my memory, was in the fall a few weeks before "Greek Week." Greek Week is for those unaware a week of programming put on campus to build community and display spirit for the various fraternities and sororities. It is custom to build a float. For some houses, this is a bigger deal than homecoming or any other large campus event.

The house that shall remain nameless requested that we present to their house on the topics of alcohol and safer sex. We arrived early, as we always did, and waited to be greeted by someone from the house. Nobody came. We decided to simply wait on the porch until we were addressed. We could not set up because we didn't know where we would be presenting.

As we sat on the porch we looked at their float. It was a large wooden tank built with moderate skill. It's paint was a 30 minute spray-paint job of olive green, black, and brown meant to resemble camouflage.

Then we noticed it. In bold yellow letters on the back read the phrase:

"Porch Monkey's for Life."

It was alarming. Being that we still had not been greeted, it was already awkward. Add to that the fact that I was the only non-black member of the group (other than my friend AJ, he was Indian, and a woman Christina). I could tell the other presenters were uncomfortable about going into the house to present, and other's were just upset.

After a considerable amount of time we were finally greeted by the VP of the house. He directed us to the dining hall and told us where we would be presenting.

We began the presentation with a crash course on condoms. We received boos from the crowd, and the girls in the group were whistled at or received cat calls. I was new to the team so I was in a support role at this presentation, but I found myself becoming more and more angry.

Later, we had volunteers from the house come forward and attempt many simple tasks while wearing special goggles. The goggles distort the user's vision in a way that the brain sometimes becomes confused and the user can loose balance. The main idea here being that the wearer is in a simulated loss of motor skills, much like if they were drunk.

Long story short, the volunteers were encouraged by the audience at large to be disruptive and rude.

By time it was over, I couldn't leave fast enough. Once outside, I felt like I could breathe easy knowing that not every other word I heard would be the word "fag."

I was upset. I told my supervisor. I told her that if she had to sign off on anything saying that they had completed the training to not sign it. I was insistent that they learn something.

I posted later a note on my facebook page describing like this my experience. the note raised a lot of controversy. I was called in by my supervisor and told I would lose my job if I didn't take it down. She had been bombarded with phone calls all day from the executive board of the fraternity in question. They like to use words like "alumni" and "powerful." My fellow educators sided with me and were appauled when they learned of our supervisor's ultimatum. I argued with her, but ultimately felt that I loved my job too much. I folded. I felt I had to pick my battles.

because of my note, I attracted a lot of heat and the entirety of the house began addressing me very aggressively. I learned that word of the tank with the "porch monkey" on the back of it had made it's way to their fraternity's national office, and that they didn't like the heat.

I was unapologetic, and after being forced to take the note down, I felt like the gloves were off. I found myself in public debate over the appropriateness of having such a thing on display.

Their defense was that their house had a large porch and that they had some time ago began calling themselves "porch monkeys." I distinctly remember them aggressively telling me how the house has "a black guy."

I tried to reason with them.
I tried to reason with my supervisor, but she signed off on their training.
I almost lost my job.

Sometime later, I learned that several years ago the same house had performed a skit in black face make-up at a Greek week event.

This is my story of defeat. I lost. I sometimes wish that I had not taken down the note, and just quit the job.

Some changes require more than just one person, I hope my former supervisor has the same regret that she didn't support me when the heat came down.

Oh and I guess I should mention it's Christmas or something... I'll begin by noting that I'm working tonight, so wherever you are, don't'cha come a complain'n to me, o-kay?

If I could be anywhere on Christmas doing anything, I think I'd be snowed in somewhere just looking out the window. I would not be trying to figure out a solution to the situation. I would simply be, and by "be", I mean it in the Beatles "Let it be" kind of way. I imagine myself with close friends, my cat(s) (from back in Missouri), and I'd just drift in and out of consciousness all day while listening to the music. The Kink's "Waterloo Sunset", Elliott Smith, Ella Fitzgerald, and Louie Armstrong come to mind. I'd watch the cats play with the balled up wrapping paper and drink peppermint tea.

Perhaps in 2009 Space Travelers.

LOST Chapter 18, Verse 6: Perhaps I'll Fly Too

2008-12-22T02:08:00.000-08:00

This is a particularly personal one Space Travelers. However, as a bonus, this one comes with some video! I become more and more aware as I post these about how much I'm sharing here on this blog. I don't regret it, I'm just conscious of it. This place, my little corner of the interwebs is kind of my intellectual garden. I choose the arrangements of the flowers, and sometimes people wander through and look around. When they do, I wonder if they've been to better gardens, or if they want to rearrange my plants. I guess all I can do is keep planting and hope over time this garden flourishes.

countdown: 4 days 8 hours 23 minutes

MEMORY#6: Perhaps I'll Fly Too

Today was something beautiful. Today was the day my plane flew. College isn't always defined by the nights of drinks with friends, the lack or abundance of sex, or the struggle you encounter.

No. Sometimes it's the feeling that we have when you set out to do something and you do it. You don't always know what you are getting into. You don't always know what is to come. Sometimes it it just better to participate rather than anticipate.

I'm going to share with you what words may not be able to convey.

My plane in flight...

This was a beautiful moment for me. The video was taken by my friend. I took video too, but my video is horrible. The reason being that I couldn't take my eyes off of the plane and I left my arms fall to my side as I was paralyzed in amazement.

I saw in that plane myself. I think I might have seen the future in it too. It's hard to explain.

Engineering is hard, and in more than one occurrence, I've questioned myself. There have been times when amidst the smartest people in the world, I felt intimidated. There have been many times I just didn't feel smart enough or good enough to be here.

You see, I am this plane or it is what I should be. I put in more lonely nights in the lab designing and building it. When you look at the plane from the outside, you can't see all the mistakes; all the repairs. If the plane could speak before takeoff, would it have told be that it too didn't feel like it was good enough to fly?

But the plane can't talk, it can only trust that I gave it everything it needed to fly. So when the pilot throttled up, and my teammate released it from rest, I didn't breathe. I couldn't breathe because I lacked the confidence that I had given it enough.

At first it just rolled along. Then it gained a great deal of speed. It takes one second for a plane to leave the ground, and once in the air, you forget it was ever on its wheels.

My plane was confident.
My plane teared through the sky.
My plane took my breath away.

All of that, and it was still the same plane. It had all the breaks and mends; the last minute design changes and repairs. It was like me. I'm not perfect. I've got breaks and repairs to.

With graduation, I'm on my own runway. Perhaps I'll fly too.

Perhaps I'll fly too.

Thanks as always for reading Space Travelers. Peace to all.

LOST Chapter 18, Verse 5: The Virginia Tech Shootings

2008-12-19T17:36:00.000-08:00

As promised Space Travelers, another installment from the graduation series. This one in particular is of a sensitive nature. Since moving out to the DC area, I've met lots of alumni of Virginia Tech. So I guess this one goes out to you.

countdown: 5 days 6 hours 30 minutes

MEMORY #5: The Virginia Tech Shooting.

Last year, a terrible event took place at Virginia Tech. A student armed with a gun(s) went into a residence hall and then into a academic building an killed several students and injuring others.

My school, Missouri University of Science & Technology offers many parallels to that of VA Tech. In fact in my department, over half of the professors attended VA tech for their undergraduate, graduate or both. My department is not unique in this way. Our two schools for whatever reason, share a certain bond.

In fact no more than 2 months prior to the shooting a lesser known event took place at my university. A student had made a campus threat of bombs and that he had anthrax. In this case, the individual was simply depressed and attempting to make enough violent claims to provoke a suicide-by-cop. The authorities were able to detain him without anyone getting hurt. In the end, all of his claims were false.

The day after the VA tech shootings, there was a campus vigil held out on the lawn. Student gathered, and there were speakers.

A speaker from the counseling center spoke about the importance of mental health and briefly told the students about the services they offered for those students facing severe depression.

The Student Body President spoke about coming together as a community.

The Chancellor talked about how the University always has our safety in mind. He offered us confidence in our school's security protocols. He was very official.

Nothing that these individuals said moved me in the slightest. I felt the entire thing was a show for the students; a way to pro-actively address the hysteria factor.

However, there was one last speaker. A teacher from the civil engineering department. A man that was in no way extraordinary in his presence or title. The only conclusion as to why he was chosen to speak was that he like many faculty had attended Virgina Tech. He had additionally taught there at one point in his career.

When he began to speak, I noticed how he kind of stumbled with his words. He wasn't a confident man, nor did it seem that his public speaking skills were the greatest.

Something grabbed my attentions though. Unlike, the first speakers, this man was not reading from cards. Certainly, he was struggling, but I found the patience needed to focus on him. As I began to pay more attention, I could see him searching for the words he needed to say. It was as if I could literally feel his frustration. I could tell he had something to say, and I could tell it was important.

After some time he found the words, and when he did, he speach smoothed out and his face became determined.

He frankly said that both the incident at our school, and VA tech involved international students, and that many people would use these incidents to make it harder for our international students to come here and study.

It was at first an odd direction for the vigil. I like others were confused.

He continued. He reminded us about the contributions the international community has made to our school and the nation. That they, like us, were here for an education and had found several ways to contribute.

What he said next I will never forget.

"In my life as an engineer, through my good work, and through my research, I have saved more lives than any man can take in one day."

Those words shook me to my core and I sat there on the lawn in tears. I felt in that second for the first time what my duty was as an engineer. I understood why it was so hard for him to find the words, and I understood why he had taken the time to speak in advocacy for our international students.

As a side note, I should explain that in that particular year I had become increasingly aware of the military applications of what I learned. This had been a heavy thought on my mind. I felt conflicted between my passion and the industry it was embedded in.

After hearing that man's words, I've been able to resolve my conflicts. I now feel like a part of the engineering community at large and have a sense of obligation to better the world through science.

If I do my job well, you'll never know.

LOST Chapter 18, Verse 4: Home Away From House

2008-12-17T04:44:00.000-08:00

Space Travelers, Space Travelers! I hope you've been enjoying the updates with the LOST chapters from my graduation. Nothing wrong with a little walk down Nostalgia Lane right? Well continuing the stretch, here goes.

Countdown: 6 days 15 hour 58 minutes.

MEMORY #4: Home away from House

This memory may by somewhat unique to me, and not really representative of the college experience, but I feel that it some way it is a story which others may be able to relate to in some capacity.

In the winter of 2006, Missouri was hit really hard with two severe ice storms. In my college town, the ice was intense, but we did not lose power at any time. In my hometown of Springfield, however, the ice brought down many trees. It was declared a disaster area, and some parts of the town were without power in the cold for several weeks.

A casualty of the storm, was that I lost my home. The house I lived in my entire life, was a small house in an older neighborhood shaded in trees. Many of those trees were branded with bald spat where the local children would climb them, and scuff their bark with their sneakers.

I found out from my father that the house had been hit hard in the storm and that the roof/ceiling above my room had been destroyed along with the roof/ceiling above other parts of the house.

By time I had made it home, my father had relocated, and I was able to walk into the house. Without the power, the food in the refrigerator had spoiled and the smell had moved through the house. In addition to that the broken roof had let lots of water in the house. With the moisture, came mold and in many places the floor had become warped.

I salvaged some things from the house that my father had missed in his collections. What I picked up could barely fill a shoe box.

I left my house, and I realized I would never return to it. In the back yard was the plots where I had buried family pets. I would never be able to return to see them again. This may seem odd, but when growing up, my family duty was to take care of the animals. It was a special connection I had to the house.

I was greeted by friends when I returned. While my house was gone, I still had a home.

I don't believe many will experience this kind of thing. However I do think that many can relate to the feeling that the place where they grew up was no longer their home.

It's weird.

Also, I have three new videos complete! It's my election night adventure with Space Travelers Maia and Catherine into DC. I finished it a while ago, but I ran into problems uploading it to You Tube. The video was too long so I had to go back and edit the vLog into 3 parts. I'll be posting them here soon, but if you don't want to wait, just go to my You Tube Page (click the link in the sidebar -->) and watch them now.

Peace.

LOST Chapter 18, Verse 3: Not a Head of Lettuce

2008-12-14T20:18:00.000-08:00

As promised my loyal compatriots and statesmen and stateswomen, a short tale of college past of yours truly. This story Space Travelers is one less eloquent but honest.

Countdown: 8 days 5 hours 55 minutes

MEMORY #3: Not a Head of Lettuce

So it had been a dry spell for me. I was (am) a young horny male and quite unapologetic about that fact. For whatever reason things had taken a weird turn and odd new symptoms were appearing.

It's hard to describe, but imagine a cat in heat rolling around making a fuss. That was me, except male and homo-sapian.

It was serious. I was out of control. I felt like the walls were closing in, and madness was making it's siege at my castle gate.

So much in fact, that in the night in question, I was trying as hard as I could to figure out how to fix it. It was in those hours of insanity that my mind made a very poor conclusion.

"I'll just go out and get laid."

It FELT (emphasis mine) brilliant, and it took no time for me to spring up out of my chair. However, reality gave chase, and somewhere between putting my jacket on and the door I realized...

"It's not like getting a head of lettuce."

There I stood with my jacket half on too ashamed and confused about what to do. I stood there just waiting; looking for anyway I could forget how stupid the idea was.

I eventually retired to my desk in defeat.

In my many years in college, I had few chances to be really promiscuous. I met a wonderful girl my second year and we were together for 3 years. Had I not met her, who knows what bedtime adventures I would have had.

Hardly a story, but sex seems to be a large part of college.

LOST Chapter 18, Verse 2: The Palace

2008-12-12T11:37:00.000-08:00

Continuing in my graduation series, here is the second installment of my favorite college Space Traveler memories.

Countdown: 9days, 15hours, 10minutes until graduation.

MEMORY #2: The Palace

I was a resident assistant for a few years while in college. I'm sure many memories to come will perhaps also have to do with that fact. The second memory is the community I lived in my second year.

I was originally supposed to live in a new building on campus, but when China bought up all the steal back in 2004, the construction stopped and the campus had to find an alternative location to place all the displaced students. Some RAs and their communities were put into a hotel for the first semester. I on the other hand was put into a off campus location for the entire year.

It would become "The Palace." Originally abbreviated as "TP" for "Tenth and Pine," the corner it was on.

It was the second floor of a building in downtown that had been renovated to accommodate extended stay visitors to the area. Below it was a salvation army thrift store. For any college student, living above a thrift store meant an endless supply of vintage clothing and an immediate excuse for putting off laundry another day.

$8 to wash my clothes, or $2 to buy a suit that only my grandfather would wear. The choice was often obvious. We proudly would parade around campus as the most fashionably challenged, but were strangely confident in our uniqueness.

I lived there from August 2004-May 2005, so I was there during the election and I got to see the dynamics of young academics trying out their ideas with each other. I saw them come together to form a very tight knit group.

In January, I was stuck in traffic on I-44 on my way to St. Louis when I received a phone call from my supervisor. She informed me that one of my residents had died. he had died on his way home to St. Louis, and it was at that time I realized that the traffic I was in was the result of his accident. With no real way to exit the highway, all I could do was inch forward in the stop and go traffic, and after some 20 minutes, I was able to see the wreckage. As I drove by I cried and was overwhelmed with sorrow. It would be the closest thing I would get to a "goodbye."

I was sad that day not because I lost a good friend, but because I realized that I had become caught up in the excitement of The Palace and had supported those who were really into the community while perhaps not giving more back to those who were more introverted. You see, I didn't know Ryan that well, and I had not really taken advantage of the opportunities I had been given to know him.

I had not even been that great of a RA to him. He would come by and complain about noise, and I would rarely act on it because the noise was being made by my most active residents; the ones who endorsed my idea of community there.

I was troubled with guilt, and when I returned the next day, I gathered all of the community together and told them what had happened. the guilt I experienced for not being better, was shared amongst the group as many felt similar feelings.

After a few solemn days, Ryan's parents came to collect his belongings. they left his couch and TV because they said that the idea of making room in their house for these items would be too painful. The day after that, a letter appeared on the wall. It was written by Andrew, one of Ryan's roommates. It was an honest and forward letter about who Ryan was for those who didn't have the chance.

For me this letter let me forgive myself in many ways because what I was punishing myself for at the time was that I had not taken interest with him like I had the others until it was too late.

The community came together in a new way after that, and to this day have found ways to live together.

In fact, in May, when I move, I will be living with two of them in Northern Virginia.

Our life in that building was full of many unique things, and I know that I can never look at a Salvation Army Store the same again.

LOST Chapter 18, Verse 1: The Yardstick Man

2008-12-10T22:02:00.000-08:00

Dear Space Travelers, I'm hard up for new ideas at the moment, but I shouldn't let that stop me. I have left other bits of my across the blogosphere. I decided I'd fetch some writing I did prior to graduation and beam it across the universe. There are 10 in the set, so I'll try and post one every other day until I've put them all up.

In 10 days 7 hours I will graduate from college. As I count down each day, I thought I'd share a memory from college with you each day until graduation. I will try to give you my 10 most significant.

MEMORY #1: The Yardstick Man

I arrived at my college as a transfer student with two years already under my belt at a local community college. I walked in to greet who I thought would be a student advocate, my first Advisor. Instead I met Dr. Fannin. I remember how he rejected the math credits I earned at CC and how he made me retake a year of math. I pleaded with him to reconsider. He looked me in the eye and told me the following words.

"Every school gives their student a yard stick in which they can use to reach out to their goals. Your Community College, [name omitted], gave you a 2ft yard stick."

He proceeded to tell me how I would not be successful at this school.

I remember the rage a felt at his smug arrogant look. I felt my nails dig into my palms. I remember the betrayal I felt. I had never met an academic professional who so directly displayed such blatant elitism.

I went to the store that night and bought a yardstick. I hung it in my room by my desk that first year to remind myself of the goals I set for myself and how I would not let a petty old man stomp on my dream. the next day, I filled out the necessary paperwork to get a new Adviser, and met a nice man with a lot of knowledge about my department.

I still have the yard stick, and on next Friday (the day before grad) I plan to go to the store buy him a yard stick. Cut a foot off of it. Then take it to his office where I will proceed to tell him what I think of his yard stick. I worked hard and exceeded my own expectations, I want him to know he was wrong. I'll look him in the face and tell him to "never tell another student that again."

LOST Chapter 20, Verse 3: Eight Days a Week

2008-11-26T00:25:00.000-08:00

Well Space Travelers, it's been a weeks since I lost posted. My world has been a work sleep storm that has all but destroyed any chance of doing anything productive. I'm coming off of a seven day work binge with last weekend working two 12 hour shifts. Basically each day began with 5 (yes really) separate alarms at 4:15AM to guarantee I'd wake up, and would end with me returning home and instantly committing a sleep crime only to wake up in the middle of the night still in my work clothes.

I think it's time I get back to the adventure though.

I'd like to comment on the DNC, but maybe it would be better to wait until after the RNC is complete and then just do a special on the whole political landscape going into the last stretch.

I'm feeling like I need to be productive and I've got some rentals I need to take back. Wanna go for a ride?

Something Special I Found

2008-11-16T04:54:00.001-08:00

I went to see a DJ spin at the Black Cat in DC and I was given this. I scanned it in, because I thought it was so special. Space Traveler Taylor Park may be the only person I know who can appreciate this as much as I do.

~Chi

Chapter 22, Verse 5: Images From The White House Election Night

2008-11-07T07:28:00.000-08:00

More to come Space Travelers. Plus I'm working on a seriously huge vLog. I tmight end up being like 30 minutes or more long! Check back soon!

Chapter 22, Verse 4: Images From Obama's Last Rally

2008-11-06T08:04:00.000-08:00

Chapter 22, Verse 3: Marble Tears

2008-11-04T12:06:00.000-08:00

It is a rare occurrence when we see such imagery as this Space Travelers. The circumstances of which we see Barrack Obama in tears is from when he yesterday spoke about the passing of his beloved grandmother. His grandmother who had raised him in his teenage years in Hawaii ended a long struggle with cancer in the last days of the election.

The loss of a loved one is the kind of event that is impossible to escape and yet no matter how we prepare, the weight of such a thing is never subtle, never casual, never small. When we are leaders, people look to us for strength and perhaps somewhere in the evolution of our society, we began to associate tears with weakness. Some perverse notion that allowing the natural course of emotion instead of fighting with every ounce of their will equates to a lack of strength.

It's understandable that we place such a high standard on the office of the president of the United States. I think that perhaps just as much criticism on those who aspire to fill that office. After almost two years of hearing their names used in the daily blend of pro and con, these people begin to lose their dimensions; they slowly atrophy into brands. Obama no longer becomes a man who feels love, anger, or sorrow, he becomes just a 5 letter word, a picture, a soundbyte. "Obama" exists where there is no Obama the man. surrogates supporting and contesting his campaign invoke his name to either strengthen or weaken the brand Obama.

So it is in the final hours of the campaign that we see him on stage, letting go of a few tears. It stops our heart. We are startled and caught of guard. It makes us uncomfortable. We want our champions to be invincible. We don't want them like us: Frail or prone to hurt. We see the President to be a position to big for "people like us" so when we see him in tears, we see ourselves. We are forced to come to terms with their mortality.

We see Barrack in tears and we are forced to relive the loss of our own loved ones. We see their last days in peace or pain. We relive the feeling of helplessness at one of the only known truths of this world. It sobers us.

Perhaps I use "we" and "us" to liberally. Maybe it is just me who can't advert my eyes away from that picture. Perhaps it's just me that finds it profound at all.

Regardless Space Travelers, on this the day of the election, whoever you vote for, I hope that you remember that they are more than a name in a booth. Come the day of January 20th, 2009, please remember that too and for the days to follow.

Take a moment to look.

~Chi

New Blog Look

2008-11-03T06:11:00.000-08:00

Hey Space Travelers,

I did some major remodeling of the blog. I hope you like it. It's inspired by my new fixation with really weird sneakers. Besides the new wild neon color theme, I also updated and reorganized the sidebars. I no longer have the hero blog list, but instead I now have a hero blog roll. I also added a video bar down below which is feed directly by my youtube channel. This is good if I decide to put video up which is unrelated to the blog. You'll also notice I've made banners for some of my favorite sites now too.

Well, here's to hoping you like the new stuff, now it's time to start preparing for what I imagine to be a long day.

~Chi

Coming Soon:

"Campaign Rally Cross"
"What would you do with a $1000.00? What would I do?"

Chapter 22, Verse 2: Rhetorical Quest Part II

2008-10-23T20:10:00.000-07:00

Hey Space Travelers, I had a thought today on my ride home from work about voting. I've struggled with the thought about making a lot of political rants on this blog for sometime, and trust me I never run low on ammo, but I've felt that this little corner of the interwebs was best to be kept clean of politics and left to be a marketplace of my ideas that were less about brands and more about dynamic concepts. However, when I have a thought such as today that I feel is so independent of political demagogy, I am obliged by a totally annoying sense of duty to share.

Go Vote Early.

Listen, there is nothing magical about it. Your vote will not mean more or less to our country at large, but your actions could mean a lot to your neighbor. Even without the projections of huge voter turnout, somewhere in the dialog we lose sight of people who wake up early just to get to the polls before work and still wait in long lines debating every second whether or not they can gamble standing there the next second. Help everyone make it to the front of the line.

Go Vote Early.

Whether you are a Republican, Democrat, or a Space Traveler the point remains. I had been so excited to be a part of this election, I think somewhere I put a higher premium on the date, the notion of being a part of history, rather than the act. My voter water drop winds up in the ocean whether I walk it to the beach or whether I drop it in the mighty Mississippi river.

Go Vote Early.

If you've struggled in this election, like I have to fight off cynicism and constantly worry about whether your vote counts, you're not alone. I plead to you, the greatest actions of mankind are not exclusively the ones that result in glory. If you are confused by what I mean, I only aim to assert that there is something noble about acting on your heart out of a sense of duty. That duty doesn't have to be to a country or a flag. For me, my duty is to those who are disenfranchised all over the world. I cannot scoff at the idea of free elections while people in this world truly embody what bravery is just to have a voice in their lives. How can I dare to be so careless? Let it be somebody other than me that says my vote is worthless. I have my own means to measure the merit of my actions.

Go Vote Early.

By voting early, you're not going to make every vote count, but you may make one other person's vote count by shortening the line by one person. The 5 minutes, hell, the 2 minute you spend in the booth may be the difference between somebody choosing to exit the line and rush to work, or leave to pick up their children from work.

Go Vote Early.

I won't tell you who to vote for. If you don't feel that Obama or McCain represent you, don't vote for either. Find a candidate that does, and if it means that you vote for a third party, it doesn't mean your vote is wasted. I'll always respect you for following your heart and mind. I loved George Carlin, but their was one thing he said that was wrong. He said that you can complain if you don't vote; that it wouldn't be your fault. I love you George, but you made a false dilemma.

Go Vote Early.

The idea that our vote only matters when the vote we cast lands on the side of victory is all too selfish. If there is a sea change in the American political landscape, let's make it the difference in how we view our own role in society, not merely the give and take of red and blue, liberal and conservative, or soda and pop. I'm resolved to contribute to this country be it Obama, McCain or Zenu running this country. Armchair quarterbacks never score the winning touchdown.

Go Vote Early.

I'm one person that will never tell you your vote didn't count, no matter any outcome. If you can't find the time to go early, Tuesday will come faster than you think Space Travelers, pack a lunch, bring something to read, and bring an umbrella-ella-ella-a-a-a. Remember, lines may be long, people may be grumpy or smelly, but Space Travelers care not of these things.

~Chi

It's Here: Return of the vLog

2008-10-16T18:17:00.000-07:00

Supplemental...

So I have lots more footage from the last few weeks Space Travelers, but I think that too many election based vLogs would be boring. Having said that, here's my summary of the four debates.

Debate 1: Boring + Drunk. Advantage Obama.

Debate 2: Every news source ran two stories. Story 1: Biden won. Story 2: Palin Exceeded Expectations. Story number 2 is better for ratings. However, it's kind of like Lance Armstrong winning the Tour de France, and then running a bunch of stories about a person who shouldn't have been in the race to begin with who came in last place and simply didn't fall off their bike.

Debate 3: Awkward & not a game changer. I think Obama gave better answers, but he struggled so much with the format, that I think most of the content was lost. Advantage McCain.

Debate 4: All about the body language. Obama laughs could be conceived as cocky, but when juxtaposed alongside McCain's often junior-high-school-science-fair-volcano rage inhales. I kept photoshopping a line of coke in front of him followed by the words "IT'S SHOWTIME!"

Update: I've decided to be Joe-six-pack-plumber for Halloween. To clarify, this means I have a six-pack of plungers. The funny thing is... did you know that plunger buns come in packs of eight?

Space Travelers, something to think about: What would you do with $1000.00 in one dollar bills? Then ask, what would I do with it?

It's coming...

2008-09-29T19:37:00.000-07:00

Hang on Space Travelers...

Chapter 22, Verse 1: Silent Honesty on the September 11th

2008-09-11T08:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Space Travelers, I feel the need to share an experience with you. I usually keep this light hearted, especially these days. However, I'm compelled to put my heart on my sleeve today. I consider myself to be quite patriotic. Despite those times I've voiced cynicism, I've tried my best to always contribute to my community and encourage others to do so as well. I have my talents and skills and I try my bet to contribute to a great society, but I know that others will always be smarter or have better fit talents to achieve real change.

I lost a very dear friend 6 years ago. Since then I've pondered the human reaction to loss. I loved her dearly as friend and felt that the world had truly lost a great mind and perhaps a greater heart. It felt so important to carry on, so I assumed her life motto as my own.

"Do whatever it takes to make yourself free."

I've been trying. It's hard, and many times it's been lonely. She was a writer, and she encouraged me to express myself in poems. She helped me understand when that thought in my head was inspiration and taught me how to grab a hold of it.

Last night, I felt it. So to you I share...

I drove back from Annapolis last night around 1:00AM and as I passed the Pentagon in those late hours I found it kind of solemn and honorable. At that moment in the soft blue and white light that bathed it's once wounded walls, I found a certain silent reverence. The calm honesty only meant to be shattered as people would flood in this morning for the memorial service at 8:00 AM. Many words were spoke this morning, but spoken like the words of men who can't appreciate the deafening truth that only silence brings. I had my midnight moment with the building, and I drove home. No person could better tell me what else I should feel on this day.

My ride home takes me past Arlington cemetery. From the road you can't see the fields of white marble, but you can feel them. And for those who fell on September 11th, 2001, they will forever have the company of our beloved armed servicemen and women who have fallen in the wars to follow. Now they rest at a tragically even ratio. There is no soft blue and white light for those in Arlington. Their honor is paid to them at a discounted price. A painful honor which the families are asked to kindly mourn out of view in those waking hours every day.

Arlington National Cemetery

Today as a nation mourns the death of thousands, I join in and mourn for one: A friend, whom the world will never know.

Corinne Rose Cox

Corinne Rose Cox 11-28-82 to 07-13-02 Happy Birthday Rinnie As simple as breathing We picture your face All tangled in daydreams And shielded with grace We feel you beside us again. As certain as sunrise your image unwinds You're clearer than crystal, You fill up our minds Now we have you by our side We can always close our eyes, Take your absence by surprise, Hold our breath and make believe. Love you Rinnie Rose

Rinne's Obituary

Chapter 21, Verse 1: Spore, Evolution, and Computer Reformatiing

2008-09-10T14:39:00.000-07:00

Hey.

Yeah.

I like computers Space Travelers, but I'm about to assert some good old reptilian brain methods of prehistoric violence style solutions to fix mine. By "fix" I mean, to neuter.

So Kit got Spore... You know spore right? The "Sim Everything" universe God simulator where you start as a single cell life form and expand into a galactic civilization. After Watching Kit for some time, temptation grabbed me. I decided to purchase it. Since I also recently purchased a giant terrabyte external hard drive, I figured now was a good time to reformat my computer. I had yet to do a clean install of Vista since my laptop's purchase in December. Other than Spore, I had some additional photo and video editing software I was going to put on the computer so I could make new contributions to the blog and vlog.

It's now day 4 of trying to get this to work...

Blue screen count: 25
Anger DEFCON: 4

Dear Space Travellers, I'm losing my patience. I'm trying to be a well evolved creature of the earth but I'm slowly showing my animal side with this endeavor. Tonight, I am going to have to start from scratch I fear. However, first I will simply try doing a few system restores at various points and/or try uninstalling and reinstalling some software.

It doesn't make much sense. Skype worked just fine, and now if I start it up, it blue screens me.

HATE
HATE
HATE

Well, tonight, I'm going to go eat some righteous Thai food and go bowling to calm my nerves. As always, I'll keep filming, and one day I'll be able to bring back the vLogs.

So in the end, after all the blue screens and hours of computer butt hurt, will Spore be worth it? Space Travelers, it will be worth every second.

OMG Sidebar Addition

2008-09-01T07:51:00.000-07:00

I decided that I'd add something to the sidebar today. I thought I'd promote some learning fun in a viral sense. I love to go to Wikipedia and let myself just end up somewhere. I will begin linking to my favorite entries.

To the internets Space Travelers!

Cameratron

2008-09-01T07:26:00.000-07:00

I bought a new camera. This means I'll be able to better filmatron the vLogs Space Travelers. I'm working on the next vLog. It's a little harder because I'm learning new software to do it. Adobe Premiere is no joke and many changes have been made since the last time I used it back in 2004.I guess I need to name it... Any suggestions?

Found

2008-08-23T17:43:00.000-07:00

I found this on Imagechan, and I thought of you Space Travelers.

Have a wonderful day.

By the way, new vLog is taking forever because of reformatting of the Tanoue (my laptop). I lost some of my stock footage, and I since I'm starting fresh, I'm debating on making the big step to Adobe and away from Miscrosoft for video editing. Stay tuned.

First Ever Space Traveller Challenge!

2008-08-17T03:56:00.000-07:00

Hey Space Travelers. Games a re best played when everyone can participate.

I've got a challenge for you. It's simple. Just make a video of you telling me how you'd kill hurt or maim me, and put it on Youtube, and then link it to me.

Examples...

Space Traveler Rexann said: "Chi, I'm going to put a light bulb up you ass and then step on you."

Space Traveler Craig Said: "Chi, I'm going to fill your lungs with glitter."

Just make a video of you telling me how you'd hurt me, and I promise I'll respond. The Space Traveler with the best threat will win a prize.

That's all for today, I'm working on the next vLog, so no need for more emails and IMs.